


RC #333 Mission #5: KnightFail

by SkarmorySilver



Series: Protectors of the Plot Continuum: Response Center #333 [8]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Incredibles (Pixar Movies), Protectors of the Plot Continuum
Genre: Co-Written, Collaboration, Crossover, De-aging, Department of Implausible Crossovers, F/M, Gary Stu, PPC Mission, Sporking - Freeform, badfic, character replacement, mini-Bat-Mites, mini-Omnidroids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 11:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16555286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkarmorySilver/pseuds/SkarmorySilver
Summary: “No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know?! For a little bit. I feel like the maid: 'I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for, for 10 minutes?! Please?!'”— Robert "Mr. Incredible" Parr,The Incredibles(2004)What do you get when you cross a The Incredibles badfic, a badly written Batman with a superiority complex, and an unfortunate Super with the residents of RC #2814 and a vampire trainee? Trouble. Lots and lots of trouble.(Co-written with Edhelistar)





	RC #333 Mission #5: KnightFail

**Author's Note:**

> \- **Copyright Disclaimer:**  
>  _(The following is a non-profit fan-based parody._  
>  _The Protectors of the Plot Continuum and all related property belong to Jay and Acacia._  
>  _Batman was created by Bob Kane and Bill Finger, Superman was created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, and the Teen Titans animated series [which Feratu comes from] was created by Glen Murakami and Sam Register. All of the above and their respective related characters and concepts [like Kryptonians, which Solvig is] belong to DC Comics._  
>  _S.H.I.E.L.D., where Yuuna comes from, and everything related to it belong to Marvel Comics._  
>  The Incredibles _belongs to Pixar and Brad Bird._  
>  _Pokémon and all related names and concepts belong to Satoshi Tajiri/Game Freak/Nintendo._  
>  _Agents Solvig Karinsdotter and Yuuna Takamiya belong to Edhelistar._  
>  _Agents Sarah Squall and Frederick “Feratu” Robinson belong to SkarmorySilver._  
>  _The fanfic being sporked,_ _["The Incredibles: Dark Knights"](https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6914496/1/The-Incredibles-Dark-Knights&sa=D&ust=1541646471368000)_ _, belongs to MetroXLR99, who may keep it for all we care._  
>  _Thanks to Voyd, Tira, and eatpraylove for their beta services!)_
> 
> \- **Rating:** PG-13/T - Sarah does not approve. Sarah does not approve _at all._
> 
> \- **Original Posting Date:** August 2, 2015
> 
> \- [Original Document](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r34F_uPcO6dgWbrT2nokG_VGqajQexyiK5MI4gm6mC8/pub)

The auburn-haired, blue-eyed girl sped through the Danger Room, smashing and breaking apart training robots left and right and trying to focus on her target: a large glass sphere on the far side of it. After getting bored with trashing ‘bots, she ran with super-speed  _through_  those who were in front of her, and grabbed the glass sphere. She turned around to see that a host of robots was blocking her path. Snorting with boredom, she rushed back faster than a speeding bullet, through the robots, to the other side of the Danger Room.

“ _Simulation finished,_ ” said a robotic voice, and the robots vanished.  The auburn-haired girl then took a look at the sphere.

It was cracked, and more cracks started to appear, until a female voice with a Swedish accent shouted, “Activate!” Just like that, the redhead’s Output Limiter was activated. The girl turned to see the blue-eyed blonde woman that was her psychiatrist.

“So, Solvig, what have you learned today?” the blonde said.

Solvig looked at the sphere and cheerfully replied, “Well, that rushing through robots is faster than trying to fight them!”

The nurse raised her eyebrow in disapproval.  

“Okay, okay,” said Solvig in a conciliatory tone. “I learned that I need to apply less pressure when taking stuff.”

“Better, now give me that.” The nurse took the sphere from Solvig’s hands. “Now, do you see these chipped areas on top of the sphere? These were caused by debris from destroyed robots. You must learn to limit your collateral damage.” 

The redhead looked disappointed. “But I thought those things were made of  _light_...”

“Well... it is called  _‘Hard_ Light _’_  for a reason,” replied the nurse, then sighed. “Anyway... you have been approved for recruitment” ―Solvig’s face brightened― “and you are to present yourself to the Marquis de Sod... for your Department assignation.”

Solvig let out a squeal of excitement and started bouncing up and down like a rubber ball.

“Now, now. Stop and breathe, Solvig,” said the nurse flustered in embarrassment.

The Kryptonian girl stopped squealing and turned to face the nurse, still bouncing slightly.

“Good, that is better. Now go, and remember, when in doubt, ask yourself: ‘What would Superman do?’”

Solvig nodded and replied brightly, “Yes, Miss Chan!” And with that, she went running to the Marquis’ office.

Nurse Chan sighed deeply as Solvig left. “And there she goes, to go insane.  _Skit!_ I should have done more.” She turned to the bespectacled blonde Asian girl, who was checking the Danger Room’s structural integrity. “What do you think, Shui-Hua?”

“What do I think!?” replied the technician. “I think she may start paying for the use of this thing!”

Nurse Chan replied with a laugh to that. A laugh that slowly trailed off as she turned back to see the door.

**********

_An hour and a crapton of headaches later…_

Solvig left the Lichen’s office, finally an Agent. Not with the Department she’d wanted, but an Agent nonetheless. She shuffled through the pockets of her bottomless bag and took out a three-foot-long, metallic-looking red feather. “Wonder why that Skarmory gave me this feather...” She shrugged and put the feather back in the bag, then took out a piece of paper. “Response Center two-eight-one-four, wonder where that one will be?” With that, she set off. After a while of walking, she arrived at a Response Center door, compared the numbers and sighed when realized that it wasn’t the same, she double checked. “An apple? Who numbers RCs with fruit thingies!?”

Some time later, she was hopelessly lost, wandering back and forth through HQ’s hallways still looking for her RC, when she accidentally bumped into someone. She stepped back and said, “Oh s’rry ‘bout that, I―”

“S’alright, I didn’t feel a thing,” replied the black-haired teenage girl she’d collided with. “Uh, do you mind, eh? I’m a bit busy trying to reason with this sparkly  _twat_ …”

It was only then that Solvig realized that they weren’t alone. The girl had been arguing with a tall, pallid young man whose shoulder-length black hair and black costume only made him look paler. As far as she could see, the blood-red lining to his cape was the only spot of color.

“Look, just because you don’t condone Superman’s behavior in that particular movie doesn’t mean you have to call me that,” the masked man retorted, glaring at his opponent.

“It does when you stand here and _defend_  it!” the girl replied. “Whomever wrote the script for  _Man of Steel_ had no respect for the original comics, I’ll say that much!”

The man’s upper lip curled slightly, revealing long, sharp canine teeth. “I’m not trying to defend it. I agree that the scriptwriters didn’t use the source material to its full potential. But regardless of how badly he gets written, you _do not_  insult Superman and get away with it!”

“I’m on  _his_  side!” replied Solvig suddenly.

Both of them looked around at her. “Why?” asked the black-haired girl, looking stung.

“Uhh… because you insulted Superman!”

The other girl rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t insulting him  _specifically_ ,” she replied. “I was  _trying_  to tell Edward Cullen here that the Last Son of Krypton got the really stupid end of the character-development stick in his most recent movie. What, are you Kryptonian or something?”

“Yes, I’m a Kryptonian…” She sighed. “Look, I don’t want to argue, I’m just looking for my RC.”

“What number and what department?” asked the man.

“Uhmm… RC #2814, Department of Improbable Crossovers.”

“You mean  _Implausible_  Crossovers? Hey, I’m part of that department too!” the girl said excitedly. “I’m Sarah, by the way. Sarah Squall. And this masked moron is Frederick Robinson.”

“No relation to the FicPsych nurse,” he added, offering a hand to her briefly. “And by the way, you can call me ‘Feratu’. I like it better than Freddy or something.”

“Oh, and please don’t take our bickering the wrong way, either,” said Sarah. “I rescued him from his homefic, so we’re buddies now. Well, sort of. I only met him again today.”

“Because I was assigned to you for one of my training missions?” replied Feratu.

“Oh, yeah, you were! I totally forgot!”

“Wait…” said Solvig, turning to the other girl. “I know you!”

“Um, how?” asked Sarah.

“We met at the Pudding or something party some weeks ago! Your angel partner acted like a total pervert, and then some DIA guy tried to beat him up, and then… I don’t know…. everything gets a little fuzzy.”

“Come to think of it, we  _did_ meet there! Solvig, right?”

“Yup! And you broke two of my ribs!”

Sarah smiled sheepishly. “Yeah...Sorry about that! I had no idea my hugs were  _that_  strong, really. So, RC #2814, eh?”

“Yup!” She paused, narrowing her eyes. “Heeey, waitaminute! Are you Dick Grayson’s clone or somethin’? ‘Cuz you totally look like Dick Grayson, just paler.”

“We can talk about that later,” Feratu replied hastily, waving her off. “You’ve got a partner yet?”

“I think my partner is supposed to be there already.”

“One way to find out whether that’s the case, I guess,” the vampire replied. “We find the RC and check if there’s anyone inside.”

“Sounds like a plan!” said Sarah.

**********

_Fifteen minutes later…_

Solvig knocked on the door to the RC, and a few moments later, a tall Asian girl with short violet hair opened it.

The redhead waved cheerfully at her. “Hallo! I’m―”

“Auburn hair, blue eyes, and a stupid smile… You must be my supposed partner, Solvig,” replied the other girl.

“Actually, my name is pronounced SOOL-vey, and―”

“Whatever. You’re late. You should’ve arrived hours ago.” She turned her attention to the other two. “And who are you two supposed to be?”

“I’m Sarah Squall, and this is my new friend, Feratu,” said Sarah, tugging lightly at the vampire’s ear.

“Are you girls new around here?” he asked, batting Sarah’s hand away. “You said Solvig was your ‘supposed’ partner…”

“Don’t look at me!” Solvig replied. “She must’ve eaten Grumpy Cake™ or something...”

The Asian ignored the vampire and focused on Sarah. “Sarah Squall...? Aren’t you that girl partnered with an angel, with a love of alcohol that would make Mister Stark proud, who crashed a truck in the technological research area, and an ex-Sue girl who lost a limb on a mission?”

Sarah blinked in surprise. “Um… Yes? And for the record, Cupid drunk driving into DoSAT and Lapis losing her right hand both happened on the same mission. How did you know?”

“You’d be surprised how… ‘ _infamous’_  you are to the people around here.” She brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “My name’s Yuuna Takamiya, ex-Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., if you haven’t noticed―” She gestured to her jumpsuit “―and before you ask, yes, my hair and eyes are naturally violet.”

“Wait, wait, wait! Lapis? As in Lapis Lazuli? The Pokémon-AU-badfic-girl with eye-searing hair color?” asked the redheaded Kryptonian. “Wow, that’s a weird coincidence! I met her when I lived in the Nursery! And speaking of Pokémon!” Solvig shuffled through her bag, took out a Poké Ball, and summoned a small orange reptile with a flame on its tail. “Meet Lizzie the Charmander! My psychiatrist gave her to me; she said something about me needing a pet to learn responsibility.”

“Charrrr!” Lizzie cried.

“Awww, she’s cute!” said Sarah, kneeling down to look at her closer. “Though you might wanna keep her away from my brother…”

Yuuna rubbed her temple and sighed. “Look Solvig, our equipment arrived through the chute in the bathroom around an hour and a half ago. I left your neuralyzer, Remote Activator, Heavy-Duty C-CAD, Universal Translator, and uniform on your bed. Take it and go to the bathroom to change. We also received a D.O.R.K.S., but I’m not letting  _you_  handle that.”

The redheaded Kryptonian shrugged, went to her bed, put her equipment in her bag, and ran to the bathroom, with Lizzie in tow, to change her clothes.

“So, Squall, you’re a superhuman, right?” said Yuuna while heading to her bed to continue the maintenance of her Glock 19 handgun. “What’s the origin of your abilities? Are you a mutate, mutant, supernatural being, or an alien?”

“I was born a Super,” Sarah replied. “My parents were Supers as well. And then I got my butt shredded by a jet turbine, held in a holding tank for fifteen years, and tricked into visiting an island full of killer mutant dinosaurs.”

Yuuna raised an eyebrow. “I totally did not need to know that last part. So, I take that you’re a mutant then. And you’re a badfic character too, just like me, that’s interesting...”

“She doesn’t like to talk about it,” Feratu interjected. “If you want to know the gory details, just ask Adam, or Falchion, or whatever else he answers to. He and his partner were the ones who took on the fic in question.”

“No thanks,” the violet-haired girl replied, “They may kindly keep that information to themselves.”

“Anyway, we can’t stay long,” said Sarah. “I have to get back and train Vamp here. Maybe we can get together some other time...”

 At that moment, Solvig got out of the bathroom, clad in black jeans and a black T-shirt with the DIC flashpatch on her shoulders. “Wait. Why?” She asked in concern. “Is something wrong?”

But before the Super could reply, a big computer-like device next to the door went off with a shrill, ear-piercing…

**[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!]**

Solvig covered her ears. “ _Augh_ , fortunately I don’t have my ―”

“Deactivate,” said Yuuna.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHH! SHUTITOFF! SHUTITOFF! SHUTITOFF!”

Yuuna went to the console and said “Activate,” pressing the red “accept” button at the same time. “Interesting…” she mused, before turning to see the message in the monitor.

Meanwhile, Solvig took a bottle of Bleeprin out of her bag, opened it, and swallowed one of the pills.

A few moments later, there was a [BIP] and another message showed up. Yuuna groaned when she read its contents.

“Uh, Squall? I think it’s for you.”

The Super went over to the console as well, pushing Yuuna aside. As soon as she read the report, however, she gasped in horror.

“Loki’s helmet horns! He did  _not_ —”

“What!?” She said while getting up from the floor and frowning. “Look, Squall, I don’t really like worshippers of  _that_  guy.”

Solvig’s respiration slowly normalized as she calmed down, completely oblivious to whatever happened around her. Once she was able to look around, she asked, “What’s goin’ on?”

“You’ll know soon enough,” said Sarah, heading towards the console. “Do either of you know about the  _Batman_  continuum? I could use some help.”

“And I’m not good enough for that?” Feratu asked, looking visibly disappointed.

 Sarah facepalmed. “Oh, I forgot. I’m training you too, eh?”

 “I know what you mean,” Solvig said to Feratu, pouting. “She seems to forget that that’s just a sub-continuum of the DCU Main continuum.”

 “Three newbies and a badfic involving my home continuum,” Sarah growled, typing in the portal coordinates along with disguises for herself and Feratu. “What a fan-fracking- _tastic_  day.”

Yuuna groaned and rolled her eyes.  _Superhumans... They’re all the same,_  she thought, taking her handgun and loading the magazine.  _They always think they’re the only ones who can get the job done…_  

She holstered her gun. “Hey, Squall! May I use the console of  _my_  RC?” she said in a mock-subservient tone.

“This is  _urgent!_ ” said Sarah, pulling her notebook and pen from her Bag of Holding. “And besides, I’ve got more experience than you. Can’t you just sit back and let Auntie Sarah show you how it’s done, eh?!”

The portal opened, and the dark-haired Super rushed through without another word. Feratu followed as well, while Solvig simply stood there in silence.

Yuuna stared after Sarah with an unreadable expression, and calmly set up the disguises for her and her partner.  _Idiot,_ she thought, then turned to the redhead and said, “Come on, let’s go.” She entered the portal afterwards.

Solvig turned to her pet. “Now Lizzie, wait here and don’t do anything bad.” And with that, she jumped through the portal, which closed behind her.

The Charmander, now alone, sat on the floor, turned her head around in confusion, and shrugged.

**********

Three people stepped through a portal that opened up in the generic pre-fic space. Sarah, of course, remained in her casual attire, while Feratu was dressed in a black leather jacket over a red T-shirt, black jeans, and army boots instead of his usual uniform, along with dark sunglasses instead of his mask.

Yuuna entered the fic disguised as a random Metroville police officer, with blue eyes and black hair. Solvig arrived last, dressed in a generic T-shirt and jeans… and unknowingly tackling Yuuna from behind, which led to a domino effect ending with everybody flat on their faces.

“Get. Off. Me,” Yuuna said with a muffled voice.

“No,” said the redhead smugly. “I’ll stay —”

Yuuna simply shoved her off. “Next time, do as I say…”

As soon as they had picked themselves up, a brief Author’s Note echoed overhead.

**The Incredibles copyright Disney/Pixar**

**Batman copyright DC Comics/Bob Kane**

Solvig tilted her head, puzzled. “The Incredibles? Are they some kind of Super Team?” 

Sarah looked at her with an equally puzzled expression. “You don’t know?”

The redhead gave her a blank stare.

Sarah sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Well, okay, then.  _The Incredibles_  is a 2004 computer-animated comedy superhero film produced by Pixar Animation Studios, written and directed by Brad Bird, which received the 2004 Annie Award for Best Animated Feature, along with two Academy Awards. In the film, the government creates a Superhero Relocation Program in the fifties after a bunch of lawsuits over rescues gone wrong. People like the titular Mr. Incredible are forced to start living normal lives as their secret identities, but then one day he gets a phone call and…”

“Whoa,  _whoa_ , Sarah. Take it easy,” said Feratu, patting her shoulder. “You don’t want to snow any of us newbies, especially not on our training missions.”

“I have seen that movie,” said Yuuna. “I just don’t remember much of it. So, you have any point with all this?”

“I’m  _from_  that movie, sort of, so if anyone has any questions about it, I’m your girl,” Sarah replied. “I’ll explain the ‘sort of’ later; we’ve got a badfic to kill.”

Solvig and Yuuna looked at Sarah with identical confused expressions. Feratu simply nodded, and the Words began not long after.

**The Sun Shined Brightly Over The Pristine City Of Metroville.**

**It Was An Ideal Metropolian Society During The Day...Which Hid It`s Nightly Corruption.**

**Morning Soon Came To The Suburbian Home Of The Parr Family AKA The Incredibles.**

**Helen Parr Was First Awake (She Was Up Since 6:00AM) ANd Had Just Finished Making Breakfast.**

Sarah’s stomach turned over. She had to stifle a gagging noise in her throat, to her partners’ confusion, but was nonetheless able to open up the notebook and write the first charge down.

“Too… many… capitals… Need… antiemetic…”

Feratu patted her back, his expression already looking grim. “I feel your pain, Sarah. I really do.”

“Are sure you’re really superhuman?” asked Yuuna, rubbing her aching temple.

“My homefic at least had half the characters speak in  _proper_  grammar!” Sarah retorted. “Granted, I wasn’t one of them at the time, but I’ve learned a lot since then!”

The other agents felt no need to respond. And anyway, the world had formed around them, allowing them to peek through a window into the Parr family home.

“Uhm, who’re those people?” asked Solvig.

“The red-haired soccer mom — well, ‘sock ‘er mom’ — is Helen Parr a.k.a. Elastigirl, the mother of the Parr family,” Sarah explained. “She’s not doing too bad so far, for all I know. In canon, she’s responsible, literally and metaphorically flexible, and cares about her family enough to rent a jet plane and fly it to an island hideout to rescue her husband. He’s the blond guy built like a truck, and his secret identity is Bob Parr. Super-strength, longs for the past when Supers were a thing. He’s a real family man; even if his kids get in trouble, he’ll be right there with them like he’s doing right now.”

“Encouraging his son to try sports?” asked Feratu.

“Yep,” said Sarah. “As for the boys, those are Dash and Jack-Jack. Dash is ten and has super-speed, which means he’s a giant ball of laughs. Believe me, I would know. And baby Jack-Jack is a precious little thing…”

“And who’s the girl?” asked Solvig.

Yuuna sighed. Bad memories from Elementary School formed in her mind...

Sarah frowned slightly. She wasn’t sure how to explain Violet without letting too much of her past slip. But before she could say anything…

**"Vi...You Alright, Sweety?" Asked Helen**

**"i guess..." Muttered Violet**

**Helen Didn`t Buy It.**

**"Violet...If Something is Bothering, Tell Me.  
I Thought You Were Going To be More "Open" With Your Feelings."**

**Violet Sighed Sharply.**

**"Just having Problems At School, That`s All..."**

**"What Problems?"**

**Before Violet Could Answer, Dash Spoke.**

**"Tony Dumped Her. Said Dash With a Smile**

A stray quotation mark floated by, and Sarah snatched it out of the air before crushing it to a pulp in her fist.

“If only I could help out like in my homefic,” she snarled through gritted teeth, angrily tossing the quote mark over her shoulder and scribbling the charge down. “Anybody who Suefluenced my former BFF gets an appointment with my fist, no ifs, ands, or buts.”

“What?” Yuuna was snapped out of her dark thoughts. “You were friends with  _Violet Parr_? How very  _convenient_...”

A blob of Sar-plasm landed on a nearby sidewalk.

Sarah looked away from Yuuna in embarrassment. “I… uh… Okay, yeah. I was friends with Vi in my homefic, and our relationship was written a lot better than most canon/OC friendships tend to be. I had to bid her goodbye after Adam and I cleaned up the mess.”

Feratu’s eye widened, but he nodded as she finished explaining. “And just as well. You can’t risk giving away your presence in the actual canon.”

Solvig asked Sarah the question she had avoided. “So, I’ll ask again… who’s the  _girl_?”

Sarah rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah, sorry for dropping the ball. Vi is Dash’s big sister, and can turn invisible and generate force fields. She’s the most lusted-after character in the main cast from the perspective of the fandom — a ‘precious cinnamon roll’, if you will. My author loved her back in the day, his Gary Stu avatar in my homefic loved her, and you wouldn’t believe how many more Stus would give anything and everything—including their sanity—just to get in her pants.”

Yuuna gave Sarah an uneasy stare. “You have  _heard._ Of course you have.”

More Sar-plasm landed on the sidewalk behind them.

Sarah gave her a slightly offended look. “Hey, who gave you the right to say that? I was her  _friend_ , not her  _lover_. But yeah, we all make stupid mistakes like that. Authors, characters, OCs, the whole shebang. That’s how we learn how to do good for ourselves. Or at least, we’re supposed to.”

“And that’s why Mary Sues and Gary Stus are a problem in fanfiction,” said Feratu. “If they do everything perfectly, like the guy who turned me into a vampire did, would it make an interesting story?”

“You don’t say...” said Yuuna and Solvig in unison.

“Getting back to the topic at hand, I’m guessing the fandom  _really_ hates Tony as well,” said Feratu. “I mean, if they broke up in this fic…”

“Yeah, nobody likes the poor guy,” replied Sarah. “Tony/Violet isn’t even 100% confirmed in canon, but a lot of Suethors just jump to conclusions even though Vi could easily move on and hook up with another guy, like she did in the comics. Most people hook up Tony and Kari the babysitter so Vi is free to romance the Stu of the Week. Judging by the Words, this fic is no different.”

“Wait, did they even meet each other?” asked Yuuna.

“Not on-screen, as far as I know,” said Sarah. “But they could’ve gone to the same school and met up that way. Nobody really defined them aside from their appearances in canon.”

“I guess we can’t charge for an implausible pairing, then,” said Feratu.

“Nope. But we  _can_  charge for setting it up specifically so Vi would be freed up for someone else’s… well, you know the saying.”

For Solvig, the conversation might as well be in Mandarin Chinese. So instead of attempting to decipher it, she tried to read the Words. “Huh, AU? That doesn’t look good...”

Sarah whipped her head round to look at the redhead. “Took you long enough, slowpoke…”

“Took me? I didn’t read the report y’know!”

And then Sarah realized that she herself had forgotten to check the summary. So she did just that, and her face turned pale.

**AU while the Supers have begun to come out of hiding following the Incredibles saving Metroville, a new evil may threaten the entire super community. Luckily, two teenaged "superheroes" may make a difference. VioletXOC Batman**

“A Batman replacement…” said Feratu. “You know what this means, right?”

“We’ll take care of him when the time comes,” said Sarah. “It’s Violet I’m more worried about!”

Solvig asked thoughtfully, “Hey, have any of you ever read any  _Elseworlds_?”

“Um… no,” said Sarah. “What are they?”

“They’re basically DC Universe AUs,” said Solvig, finally feeling useful.

“Oh yeah, those things,” said Feratu. “Aren’t they all self-contained continuities only connected by DC characters?”

“Not always,” she replied sagely. “Sometimes they’re the characters in name only, or some other rare times… Not even that. So, we cannot charge for changes to the canon as long they keep true to the spirit of the character, or don’t defy logic.”

“Yeah, but there’s still the risk of a Batman replacement showing up!” said Sarah. “Why else would Vi and Tony break up?”

“Beats me!” Solvig replied. “Anyway, have you ever heard of  _Superman: Speeding Bullets_? That’s as Not!Batman as it can get, and it’s not a bad —”

**[Later, The Following Night]**

The rapid scene change threw everyone off balance again. Thankfully, Solvig didn’t land on Yuuna this time. Sarah did, though, and she hastily picked herself up.

“Sorry, sorry!” she said. “Anyway, I think the next scene will take us to the  _Batman_  characters involved in this fic. I’ll let you guys take point for those parts, okay?”

Yuuna dusted herself off. “Oh, how gracious of you,  _Your Highness._ ”

“Excuse me?!” Sarah snapped, preparing to lunge at Yuuna with a mean right hook.

Feratu swiftly grabbed onto Sarah’s ponytail to stop her attacking their partner. “Careful, Yuuna,” he warned. “Sarah’s  _not_  in a good mood today. She once pulled a commercial jetliner out of a nosedive, and she still has more than enough strength to send you halfway to Nomanisan if you push her too far. My advice?  _Don’t._ ”

“Ow, leggo of my hair! Uh, yeah, what he said!” Sarah added, struggling to pull herself free.

“Let her try. I’m sure that the Flowers will appreciate it, like they did all the other times she assaulted an agent,” Yuuna commented dryly.

“I punched that cat in the face  _one_  time, people!” Sarah cried. “ _One! Time!!_ ”

Solvig decided to ignore all the bickering around her and take a look to the words:

**Darkness Fell Over The City Of Metroville.  
Most Sensible People Stayed Indoors At This Time...And, For Good Reasons.**

**The Streets Of Metroville Was Infested With Crime Of All Kinds...  
You Couldn`t EVen Walk Down The Street Without Being Mugged.**

“Wait… so we started in a Metropolis-like city and now we are suddenly in someplace like  _Gotham_? How’s that even possible!?”

“Badfic often has no respect for geography,” said Sarah, still rubbing the back of her head where Feratu had yanked her hair. “Or temporal consistency, for that matter.”

As Sarah spoke, their surroundings solidified into an old warehouse, where some Generic Criminals were making a transaction (with suitcases full of money, naturally) regarding a vial with some green ooze-like fluid inside.

“Wait, is that Venom?” asked Solvig to no one in particular. “Oh derp, if  _Bane_  is involved in this thing, we could be—”

Then the lights went out.

Feratu stiffened, his nostrils flaring. “Dynamic entry in T-minus thirty...”

After that, “ **The Gangs Armed Themselves With Guns.** ”, which meant that each criminal split into a dozen copies of himself, and then all the copies grabbed a weapon and fused back together.

Yuuna sent a quick note to the Department of Redundancy Department.

“Aren’t they a gang already?!” Sarah asked incredulously. “You could just say ‘the  _crooks_ armed themselves with’ —”

A red blur whizzed past them and cut her off. To everyone’s confusion, The Flash opened a conveniently-placed curtain to reveal Man-Bat, after which they both disappeared as unexpectedly as they’d arrived.

“I… think… that might be a charge,” Solvig managed after a few moments of stunned silence. “Yeah, charge for bringing unrelated characters to the fic via miscapitalization.”

Sarah downed a Bleeprin pill and another antiemetic just in case. “I have a feeling this is gonna happen a  _lot_  more times before we jump in,” she growled. “How hard is it to understand that you only capitalize proper nouns, names, and the first word of a sentence?!”

“Not very,” replied Feratu.

“That was a rhetorical question, Fang-Face.”

“I know. The incoming Stu, however… doesn’t.”

Sarah whirled to face him in total surprise. “There’s a  _Stu?!_  In this warehouse?!”

“Calm down, geez! Did Aperture forget to give you eardrums when they cloned you?! I could tell he was coming when the lights went out. If I’m right, we’ll get our first look at him around now.”

Indeed, the shadow that was supposed to be Batman took out all of the Generic Criminals except the two leaders and destroyed the vial of Venom. Then he stepped into the light and…

Solvig facepalmed. “That… that… that’s so…  _unggh!_ That’s  _not_ Batman! Th-th-that’s just a freaking  _Bat-boy!_ ”

Feratu had to press his hand to his mouth to keep from laughing. “Seriously?” he chuckled through his fingers. “He doesn’t even look like a  _proper_  Batboy. You’d need to give him plastic fangs and prosthetic ears for that, and even then, he’d look better in a cheap tabloid newspaper than a comic book!”

Sarah laughed so hard at this that she actually had to clutch her sides. “Wouldn’t you know it? You  _can_ make a joke!”

The vampiric ex-replacement flashed a fanged smile at her. “Who said the  _Teen Titans_  cartoon was grim and edgy all the time? In all seriousness, though, the only Batman with which I can compare  _this_  one would probably be the one from the  _Batman Beyond_  animated series, and even then, I think that one was totally different.”

“Terry McGinnis?” Solvig replied. “He looks imposing compared to this clown. You could compare him to all the times Batman has been de-aged, though.”

Sarah stared at her. “De-aged?”

“Ayup! Magic is usually involved, as to be expected.”

“This has happened before, I think,” Feratu mused aloud. “The third episode of  _Justice League: Unlimited_  had Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern transformed into eight-year-olds, for example.”

“And the  _Sins of Youth_  storyline, where a similar thi—” Solvig was cut off by a loud explosion. “What’s wrong with this fic and its interruptions!?”

“Hmm…” said Yuuna, looking at the ashes floating around her. “This isn’t quite right. Any explosion capable of incinerating money like that would kill or severely burn that man. Yet he seems unfazed by it.”

Sarah looked at her incredulously. “Wait…  _He’s got powers too?!_ ”

“Either that or the badfic forgot to explain who gets powers and who doesn’t,” said Feratu.

“Or forgot the Laws of Physics,” Solvig added.

Before anyone could reply to that, a high-pitched voice spoke up behind them.

“Hello, Agents of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum! My name is bane`s, and I would recommend that you brace yourselves right now.”

“Brace ourselves?! For what?!” Sarah cried out.

The scene suddenly changed to outside the warehouse, throwing the agents off their feet again. Sarah’s stomach heaved uncomfortably as she scrambled to her feet.

“Told ya,” said the voice.

Solvig turned to see the speaker. “Oh, no, not  _him!_ ”

The mini, bane`s , looked like an imp in a knockoff Batman costume. He had large white eyes, buck teeth, a grown man’s face, and a body with child-like proportions.

Feratu stepped forward to look at the mini a little closer. “Hello, little guy!” he smiled. “You look lost. I take it you’re a mini-Bat-Mite?”

“Affirmative, Freddie-Boy!” said the mini.

Feratu stared at it curiously. “You’re an odd one. The minis from my home sub-continuum aren’t nearly this knowledgeable. Or disrespectful. Not that Slade would bother calling me ‘Freddie-Boy’…”

“And the ones from where I come from don’t talk at all,” Sarah added with a pointed stare. “To be fair, they’re robots, so they really  _can’t_  talk.”

“I can make them talk if you want me to,” said bane`s.

“No no, that’s fine!” Sarah replied hastily before turning to the others. “Uh, anybody care to play Hot Potato with this mini? I’d rather not have him flying around  _my_  RC…”

Yuuna just kept quietly chuckling during all that exchange.

“I don’t want him either,” Solvig finally said. “I don’t really want to know how Supes feels dealing with Mxyzptlk on a regular basis.”

“If he can deal with awful screenwriting, he can deal with anything,” Sarah grumbled, prompting Feratu to nudge her hard in the shoulder.

**Meanwhile, Leader #1 Was Running Out The Warehouse And HEading Towards His Car.  
Just As He Approached It...a Figure Swung From a Biulding And Kicked Him Down.**

**He Looked Up, And Saw a Teenage Girl Dressed In a Dark Blue And Grey Costume.  
She Wore a Bat Emblem That Resembled a Yellow Oval With a Bat Image...Like a Target.**

**And, Her Eyes Were Silver Ovals.**

“Wait, is that Batgirl?” said Solvig with hope in her voice.

But the Words revealed her as “Batwoman”.  “What. You don’t look like  _‘Batwoman’_!” said the redhead, looking disappointed. “You definitely are  _not_  Kate Kane.”

“And you have a problem with that?” asked Sarah.

“My problem here is that she looks and acts like Bat _girl_ , not Bat _woman_!”

The Super thought about that for a moment. “Um, why? Okay, Helen may be called Elastigirl even though she’s a mom of three, but does that really make the reverse legit?”

“Squall, may I remind you that she got it when she was a ‘girl’,” Yuuna replied.

“She was a  _young_ woman at the time, but still a woman. I don’t know when she chose her nickname, honestly, since it wasn’t defined in canon. I picked the Stratogale moniker when I was still in high school, though, that’s a given.”

“Susan Storm called herself ‘Invisible  _Girl_ ’ first, then later ‘Invisible  _Woman_ ’,” pointed out the ex-Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. “Wait, ‘Stratogale’? You were a Character Replacement?”

Sarah covered her mouth with both hands. “Um, oops?”

The agents were saved from the awkward situation when “Batwoman” went for  **Leader #1**  and  **Sharply Kicked Him Between The Legs.**

Feratu cringed and instantly covered his crotch. “Yeesh, I don’t remember her being  _this_  violent!”

“That looked painful,” agreed bane`s.

Solvig pointed her C-CAD at her.

[Cassandra Wayne, a.k.a Batwoman. Female human. Non-canon. Mary Sue. EX-TER-MI-NATE!!!!!]

“Well, maybe because it isn’t _her_ …” said Solvig with a sigh. “I was kinda hoping she might have been Barbara Gordon.”

“It’s possible that the character  _is_  the same as her but under a different name,” said Feratu. “Multiple characters may assume the same moniker. I was a replacement of Dick Grayson’s Robin, for example, but four other characters have also used that superhero name and costume.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time a C-CAD got tricked by a character’s identity, either,” said Sarah. “Adam told me that I registered as a replacement because I was a fan-interpretation of a canonical bit character.”

“I hope you’re right,” Solvig said sadly, putting her C-CAD back in her bag. “I mean, she doesn’t even look like Cassandra Cain or Stephanie Brown, and I don’t want to kill anyone.”

**Batwoman Sighed Sharply.**

**"Look...We`re Doing All We Can, Batman. We Already Know That Joker And Harley Have Relocated Here In Metroville."**

**"Which Is Why We Left Municiburg." Stated Batman**

A small round thing rolled up to the agents, stopping next to Sarah’s foot. It then revealed five clawed legs and stood up, making a strange whirring noise.

“Hey, a robot! Can I make it talk?” asked the mini-Bat-Mite.

“ _No,_ ” Sarah growled at him. “Anyway, this is what I was talking about when I said that  _The Incredibles_  minis are robots. Mini-Omnidroids, specifically. My brother has at least eight of ‘em and D’AWWWWW, IT’S ADORABLE!!!” She squatted down and patted the top of it like a dog. “Who’s a good robot? Yes, you are, Municiburg! Yes you are!”

“Squall, I think we might have a pending discussion…” Yuuna said with an inscrutable expression.

“Oh,  _that_ ,” Sarah grumbled. “It’s quite a tale, really. We’ll have to save it for when we get to the next chapter, though, since this one ends shortly. Portal?”

“Wait, did ‘Batwoman’ just call ‘Batboy’ ‘ **Bro** ’!?” cried Solvig.

“Yes, and he just signaled ‘The Police’,” replied Yuuna with an amused tone.

“I don’t get it,” said Feratu. “I mean, I get the bad capitalization, but…”

As the Suvians left, a certain English rock band appeared out of nowhere, and started an impromptu concert.

Feratu’s single red eye widened. “…Oh.”

The agents hastily returned the band to wherever they had come from, neuralyzed them, and portaled their way to the next chapter.

**********

**Chapter 2: High School Daze**

**The Incredibles copyright Disney/Pixar**

**Batman copyright DC Comics/Bob Kane**

**The Incredibles: Dark Knights**

**Chapter 02: High School Daze**

**[Wayne Manor, The Next Morning]**

The agents landed inside the manor, just in time to witness Alfred Pennyworth converse with Cassandra.

Other than Alfred referring to Cassandra by her first name, nothing jumped out at them as canon-breaking. Yuuna cleared her throat. “Squall, were you saying...”

“Alright, here goes. The flood of lawsuits I mentioned last chapter ended what we call the Golden Age of Supers. Not everybody from that era survived to see the Incredibles defeat Syndrome, unfortunately. Syndrome himself lured a lot of Supers to their deaths, but some others died accidentally. Let’s just say Edna Mode has  _several_  good reasons she stopped including capes in her designs.”

“I like capes,” said Solvig for no reason in particular.

“Same here,” said Feratu. “Though our fashion trends differ from yours. You told me once that capes snag too much to be practical, right?”

Sarah bowed her head briefly. “In my verse? Yep. One of the worst deaths by cape snag happened to a teenaged Super with flight, super-strength, and the ability to speak to birds. Her Super name was Stratogale.”

“I see…” said Yuuna.

“Yeah, well — oh, crap. Take cover!”

**[Batcave]**

The agents were tossed to the floor again, and found themselves  **Deep In the Underground Cavern That Lay Under The Manor**.

Sarah retched and wiped a trickle of bile from the corner of her mouth. “I  _hate_  those scene shifts!” she spat, reaching for her medication. “I hate ‘em, I hate ‘em,  _I hate ‘em!!_ ”

“Question!” asked Solvig. “How were you revived?”

Yuuna squashed a mini-Stu, “Time”, who had wandered by, and then turned to Sarah as well, no doubt having the same question in her mind.

Sarah swallowed her dose and stood up. “Funny you should ask,” she laughed, rubbing the back of her neck. “See, nobody defined any characteristics about the lost Supers aside from their powers and their ultimate demise. So the fandom has been free to experiment with their character ever since. My author and a friend of his wrote my homefic after discussing the possibility of us being resurrected and our backstories fleshed out.”

Time the mini-Stu popped up by Yuuna again, and she squashed him again. “Well, at least you weren’t created as an alternate version of said friend,” she muttered to herself.

 “Unfortunately, my author was a total airhead back in the day,” Sarah admitted sheepishly. “We — that’d be me, Splashdown, and some other revived Supers — were handled pretty well, yeah, but we were cloned back to life by, if you can believe this,  _Aperture Science_. And then, well…”

Feratu, who had been silent the whole time, looked at her with an expression of pity. “It all went off the slippery slope,” he finished sadly.

“Well, what can I say?” said Solvig. “Everyone else in the AU I lived was a Sue.”

“Was there anyone involved who was like Teen!Batman?” asked Feratu. “He just stated that he and Teen!Batwoman are  **Already Smarter Than Most Professors**.”

“ _Daww_ , isn’t he the humblest of assholes?” Yuuna mocked.

Sarah rubbed her face. “Only one guy, thankfully. Protip: if you ever want to write an  _Incredibles_  crossover fic, do  _not_  include the  _Jurassic Park_  franchise. I’ll explain the last part when we get to Metroville High, all right?”

The agents nodded in agreement, and promptly headed through the portal.

**********

**Violet Got Off the School Bus As It Pulled In.  
She Sighed As She Walked Towards The School Doors.**

**She Suddenly Saw Tony And Kari Walking.  
Violet Quickly Ran Behind a Tree As They Passed By.**

**She Stared AT them As They Walked.  
Kari Had Her Arms Wrapped Around Tony`s, Both Were Smiling.**

**Violet Felt Both happy for Them And Sad For Herself.**

**"(Deep Sigh), i wonder if i`ll ever find someone who understands me...**

“Listen as the Ironic Overpower cracks its knuckles,” Sarah narrated in a mocking voice.

“As he prepares to punch,” finished bane`s.

Indeed, the Suvian siblings showed up, and instantly, they had Violet’s attention.  **She Was Mostly Looking At The Boy, Who Not Only Had The COOLEST Blue Eyes But Was Also Very Sweaty From Running In The Hot Sun...Which To a Girl Like Violet, Was Definetly "HOT".**

At this cliche instance of Speshul Eyes and Twu Wuv at first sight, Sarah nearly burst out laughing a second time, but had to metaphorically bite her tongue to avoid giving herself away.

“See?  _Everyone_  wants her,” she chortled.

“Hey, brother!” shouted BATWAVE, another mini-Bat-Mite. “You wouldn’t believe how fast these two are able to run!”

“Can we get these things to the Mini Adoption Agency already?!” Sarah groaned. “I heard Florestan and Eusabius had to deal with seventeen mini-Discords one time. Imagine the mess that many mini-Bat-mites would cause!”

“I’m keeping bane`s, at least,” said Feratu. “Insensitive nicknames be damned.”

“Awww, that’s so sweet of you, Freddie-Boy!” bane`s said cheerfully, hugging his head. “Fan of the  _Dark Knight_ trilogy, I take it?”

“I’ve seen all three movies. Pretty interesting take on the character, though it would’ve been a lot better without the whitewashing…”

Yuuna opened the portal wordlessly, and then she grabbed and threw BATWAVE through it.

“I’ll be baaaaack!” cried the mini as Yuuna closed the portal, and with a “POOF!” he appeared again. “Told ya.”

“You might want to be more polite if you wanna get us to go anywhere,” bane`s chuckled.

Solvig sighed. “This is gonna be one of  _those_  days… Yunie, those guys are nigh-omnipotent…”

Yuuna growled. “Don’t call me that…”

“Sarah, you said that basically all the Gary Stus in  _The Incredibles_ badfic want to hook up with Violet,” said Feratu. “Was your ‘brother’ like that, too?”

“Oh, Not!Adam?” the Super replied, blushing a little. “Yeah, he went after Violet as well. My author must’ve had a crush on her when he was little, but then again, didn’t all of the Suethors back then?”

“Oh, I’m sure they did,” said Yuuna mockingly.

Solvig sent two reports to the Department of Redundancy Department for  **"Hey, They`re They Are! Said Cassandra**  and  **Tim Moved Turned The Dials Of The Lock**. “Well at least he didn’t use her as a punching bag for almost every other character…”

“Yeah, but he replaced her. And turned the replacement into a  _T. rex._  And then Dino!Vi slaughtered  _another_  replacement who was  _supposed_  to be the Big Bad for that fic…” Sarah shuddered in horror, silently thanking her lucky stars that she didn’t actually remember it. “That wasn’t a good day for anybody.”

Then everyone realized that Teen!Batman had literally become frozen in place while looking at Violet.

“The cold never bothered him anyway,” Sarah giggled.

“I would’ve said something about Mr. Freeze and a freak accident, personally,” added Feratu. “And breaking the ice, but he hasn’t done that. Yet.”

Solvig snorted and fell to the ground laughing. “I…  _BWAHAHA_ … think…  _hehe_ … we may have a…  _pffft_...  _Bat-sicle_!”

“Well, now we know what killed the dinosaurs,” said Sarah.

“Don’t you  _dare!_ ” said the suddenly serious Kryptonian.

“What? That was a joke, too! Though in reality, I think there was a meteor and a crash in the food chain involved. I have Terrordactyl’s needless exposition to thank for knowing that…”

“I think we should’ve stopped at ‘Bat-sicle’,” Feratu chuckled.

Yuuna just sighed, pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head.

A second mini-Omnidroid, Violet`s, joined the first one.

“We should charge for the use of accents in place of apostrophes,” said Sarah. “And — wait – what the f— NO, YOU DON’T STARE AT VI LIKE THAT, YOU SPARKLY PIECE OF —!”

“I wasn’t staring at her,” Feratu protested. “She’s not one of my LOs anyway.”

“No, not you.  _Him._ ”

“Oh,  _come on_! No Wayne would fall this easily…” Solvig said indignantly. “Except Super!Wayne, but we all know who  _he is_ , and this is  _Lois Lane_  who we’re talking about…”

**"Say Something, Tim.  
You Look Like a Deer In Someone`s Headlights!**

**Tim Rubbed His Leg.**

**"R-Right...**

**Tim Cleared His Throat.  
He Brushed His Hair And Smiled.**

**"Hello, Violet.**

**Violet Blushed.**

**"Call Me "Vi".**

As a result of the paragraph breaks being added in at the wrong times, the world jolted around the agents. Sarah’s stomach heaved again, and she frantically scrambled for her medicine.

“Charge… for… Violet… being… overly… (urk!) personal…”

Yuuna groaned. “I hate that nickname.”

“As far as I know, only her family members refer to her as ‘Vi’, though it may be possible that close friends can do that too. I know I did in my homefic…”

 **Violet`s Eyes Suddenly Grew Big.**  As in, twice as big as usual.

Yuuna half-snickered. “As if they weren’t big enough already.”

**"OHMYGOD!, CLASS!**

A moment later, Violet rushed off, followed by the Suvian siblings. The Super agent stared after them in stark horror, mouthing wordlessly.

“I get that oversized eyes are a thing in anime and cartoon continua, but Yuuna’s got a point,” said Feratu, shaking his head. “Violet’s eyes are pretty big already. Even Starfire’s never got that big, and her—my—entire home series is explicitly anime-inspired. So, has something like this happened on any of your missions before?” asked Feratu.

Sarah finally snapped out of her disturbed trance, and turned to the vampire with a grim expression. “Once, yeah, on my first mission as an untangler. It was even worse because it happened to a live-action character and oh dear god the flashbacks make it  _staaaahp_ ,” she groaned, clutching her head.

“Sounds like you had a fun time,” said bane`s, sitting on Feratu’s shoulder.

“Sh-shut up!” Sarah snapped at the mini. “That’s not important! What’s important right now is getting you guys through training and bailing Violet’s sorry butt out before she succumbs to overdose of Teen!Batman-induced wedlock!”

Yuuna sighed and muttered, “Superhumans…” while shaking her head.

The agents waited outside the classroom that Violet had run off to. Inside, the teacher, Mrs. Beaumont, began waxing some kind of author tract about how hard it was to be a teacher in the midst of all the complaints from the students. The lesson that day was “Zero-Point Energy”, and Tim, as expected, proceeded to point out how little the teacher actually knew and educate the class on her behalf, to her understandable discomfort.

Yuuna raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t seem like anything one would learn in high school. I’ve never heard of anything even close to this ‘Zero-Point Energy,’ either.”

“I never went to high school,” remarked Solvig.

“I did, at least back when I was still a replacement of a canonical bit character,” said Sarah, idly doodling in her notebook. “Zero-point energy was Syndrome’s invention. Basically a gravity gun, and the perfect excuse for what’s-his-face to show off and make everyone else look stupid.”

“I see,” said Yuuna. “I don’t remember seeing that teacher in the movie. If I’m not mistaken, according to whatever passes for ‘training’ over here, she seems to be a ‘Bit Character’, that should be neuralyzed and left to be absorbed by the canon at the end of this scene.”

Sarah was all too willing to comply with this. The agents then moved on to after the lesson and watched Violet catch up with Tim and Cassandra.

“Wait a moment,” Yuuna said, “Violet Parr doesn’t have violet eyes. I would know that, because I’m the one who has them and hers don’t look like mine!”

“Thanks for stating the obvious,” Sarah grumbled. “But yeah, Violet was more likely named with the expression ‘shrinking violet’ in mind. If you were wondering, Yuuna, the character’s eyes are blue like mine.”

“So she’s like Raven?” asked Solvig.

“I’d say Yuuna would be closer to Raven,” said Feratu. “Don’t think a hooded black cloak would help her case, though.”

Yuuna glared at the vampire, and stepped towards him to give him a piece of her mind, when Solvig stood between them.

“Now, now,” said the redhead. “I’m sure Garr would disagree with you,  _Freddie._ ” Then she gestured for him to cut it.

Feratu glared at her, but didn’t argue.

“Geez, you guys, is this gonna turn into some kind of Marvel versus DC crapfest or something?!” asked Sarah.

“For all we know, it probably has,” replied bane`s. BATWAVE nodded in agreement.

“But this is primarily an  _Incredibles_ badfic!” said Feratu, baring his fangs. “Is there anything else we can do besides disagreeing with each other?!”

“You can always, oh,  _pay attention to the Words and learn about the canon,_ ” Sarah hissed. “What if you guys run into another mission involving this continuum? Vamp isn’t even familiar with it, for Thor’s sake!”

“I can always marathon the movie multiple times!” cried Solvig.

Yuuna smacked her in the back of the head. “Not on my watch.”

“Hey! What was that for!?”

Yuuna only glared at her partner in response.

**"Say...Would You Mind Coming Over To MY HOUSE?  
My Family Would Just LOVE To Meet You.**

Sarah wordlessly clawed at her face, anger boiling in her veins.

“Violet shouldn’t fall for someone  _this_  easily,” said Feratu. “You’re right in that I haven’t seen that movie, but I can say with confidence that instant romance is  _not_  an easy thing to write. Hell, my canon double’s relationship with Starfire was not confirmed until  _Trouble in Tokyo_ , which was supposed to be the  _finale_  for the original series!”

“Awww, she’s been bit by the love bug, hasn’t she?” BATWAVE the mini-Bat-Mite chimed in, causing bane`s to burst out into giggles.

“Original series?” asked Sarah. “Does that mean you’re treating  _Teen Titans Go!_ as a follow-up of sorts?”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say, because Feratu immediately started ranting in an angry whisper. “You  _honestly_ have the  _audacity_ to call it a  _follow-up_?! I know that show was marketed towards a younger audience, but even if a lot of the criticism against it is just people being childish, it’s still  _horribly_ misogynistic at times, it completely  _Flanderized_ all of the characters, and it’s got more than a few episodes with such outright  _disgusting_ borderline-fetishistic content that it’s a wonder it got aired at all! My canon counterpart is  _not_  a manipulative jerkass with an inferiority complex, and  _none_ of his incarnations were never like that, whether in the comics or onscreen!”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Sarah groaned. “Back to the point, Fang-Face. So, love at first sight, yay or nay?”

“Unless it’s deconstructed, definitely nay.”

“Yeah, I thought as much. Especially considering how hard it is to do right. Any of you seen  _Frozen_?”

“Oooooh! I love that movie!” Solvig squealed.

Yuuna just groaned… again.

Sarah chuckled. “You and the rest of the internet. Anyway, the writers for that movie did a pretty good job deconstructing love at first sight with Anna and Hans’ sort-of-relationship. Hans didn’t quite work as the surprise villain, but at least they got that part right.  _Unlike_  a certain mutant flying dinosaur…”

She could almost  _hear_  Terrordactyl whining about how pterosaurs weren’t dinosaurs, but she pushed the thought out of her mind – just in time to notice a third mini-Bat-Mite, batwave, show up.

Solvig quickly opened a portal. “Hey, BATWAVE and batwave! Would you mind going through this portal? I heard Batman’s on the other side!”

“Oooh! Can I come too?” asked bane`s. “I’ll catch up with you later, Freddie-Boy!”

Feratu nodded. “Have fun, you guys! Just don’t get into trouble, okay?”

“You just  _had_  to say it.” Sarah laughed, rolling her eyes. No doubt she was wondering how many more Bat-Mites they would have to send to the Adoption Center today.

Once the minis passed through, Solvig closed the portal, giggled and added, “They’ll be sorely disappointed when they get there.”

“Yeah, but they’ll be loose in the PPC,” said Feratu. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I sent them to the Mini Adoption Center, actually,” Solvig corrected.

“Knowing how much trouble mini-Discords are, mini-Bat-Mites would be just as much of a handful,” Sarah laughed. “Anyway, let’s get to the next part. We may want to witness how the canons are doing at home before moving on.”

“Not much, according to the Words,” said Solvig, “More counts of  _Bat-boy_  being speshul and a jerk, and the father for some reason taking it quite lightly… But aside from that, we could portal almost all the way to the end of this chapter.”

“As a matter of fact, we may need to skip ahead quite a  _lot_ ,” said Feratu. “We need to get enough charges to kill the Suvian characters freely, and we can’t waste our time on pointless dialogue. We don’t have enough charges for Sue!Batwoman yet.”

Sarah giggled. “I vant to suck your blood, Batwoman,” she said in a (pretty terrible) Romanian accent.

Feratu facepalmed. “Please stop joking around, Sarah. I need to keep track of everybody whom we’re supposed to kill, and the  _last_ thing I need is for some  _birdbrain_  to ruin my concentration.”

“Hey, birds are smarter than you think!” Sarah protested. “Ask my brother if you don’t believe me.” With that, she signalled for Solvig to open the portal, who programed it to home in on the next major charge.

**********

**[Meanwhile, SOmewhere In The City]**

The agents were briefly treated to the sight of  **a Group Of Teenagers Dressed Like Punks** sifting through some loot, likely from a robbery. It was a rather ordinary scene for the most part, until…

**As They Passed Around They`re Ill Gotten Loot...They Heard SOmething From Afar.  
It Sounded Like Laughter...It Started Out Low, Then Got Louder.**

**They turned And Saw Someone Walk Towards Them.  
It Was a Teenage Boy Dressed In a Purple Coat And Pants With a Green Shirt And Orange Bowtie.**

**His Most Striking features Was His Green Hair, Paper White Skin, Ruby Red Lips...And a Creepy Grin.**

The agents were dead silent for several long moments, except for Yuuna, who was fiddling with something that looked like a soda can. Sarah glanced at Feratu just in time to notice that his fingers were curled into claws, his fangs bared in an expression of barely repressed fury.

“You. Do.  _Not._  Do. That. To. The God. Damn.  _Joker_ ,” he snarled.

Solvig’s eyes crackled with red energy and a faint red glow was seen in her pupils. “I’d agree with you,” she said in an uncharacteristically serious tone.

“I… think I’ll let you guys take care of charges here,” Sarah said uneasily, passing Feratu her notebook.

“And who’s she?” asked Yuuna, pointing at  **a Girl Dressed In a Red And Black Jester Uniform.**

“That would be Harley Quinn,” said Feratu. “Did she get turned into a teenager too?”

Sarah’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think so. I really hope not, she has a Ph.D. in canon.”

“True,” the vampire replied, jotting down a charge in the notebook. “This Harley’s from either the New Earth series, the DCAU, or  _‘The Batman’_  TV show. She went through college in all of those continua, though.”

Solvig pointed her C-CAD at her.

[Doctor Harleen Quinzel, a.k.a. Harley Quinn. Female human. Canon. 10.6% OOC. Is anyone else creeped out by this?]

“Well, at least she wasn’t replaced,” Solvig commented. “But I’ll agree, this...  _thingy_  she has with the replacement  _is_ kinda creepy.”

“Yeah; too bad so many fanbrats miss that aspect and romanticize a clearly abusive relationship,” said Feratu.

“That’s not what I meant,” said the redhead. “Harley is at least ten years older than the replacement.”

The others looked at her with startled and horrified expressions.

“Please tell me you’re not implying what I think you’re implying,” said Feratu.

Sarah gagged. “Are you  _kidding_ me? This is as bad as that stupidly common Syndrome/Violet pairing! For one thing, Syndrome’s  _dead_ , and for another, Vi’s practically my age!”

“Sadly, it is,” said Solvig to Feratu. “And given how ‘Batwoman’ looks like and the Bat-Wave being here, this is most likely the Harley from  _The Batman_. ”

“So, if there isn’t any other charge,” Yuuna said, “can we please portal to the next chapter?”

Solvig and Feratu both nodded.

“Well then,” said the Asian girl, “we can skip past the start of the next chapter, which according to the Words, are ‘several weeks’, there, are more counts of the siblings being ‘ _oh_  so special and perfect’. And what would you know? Violet gets the same treatment.”

“Can I at least keep tabs on the charges for Teen!Joker?” asked Feratu. “If I’m going through training along with the rest of you, I might as well make myself useful. Besides, this is the  _perfect_  opportunity for me to get a taste of that guy and fulfill every Robin’s ultimate fantasy.”

“Which is?” asked Sarah.

“Killing the Joker.”

“Oh.”

With that, Yuuna opened the portal, and the Agents portaled to the next chapter – but not before Feratu overheard Teen!Joker killing the gang leader with laughing gas and taking over.

**********

They arrived on allegedly-Wayne Manor’s front lawn, where they found three more mini-Omnidroids ( **Kari`s** ,  **Vi`s**  and  **The Parr`s** ),  **Cassanda**  the mini-Sue, and  **Tim`s**  the mini-Stu curiously watching a four-foot-long steel rod driven into the ground at an angle.

Sarah promptly picked up Cassanda and Tim`s, and banged their heads together with such force that they burst into twin clouds of pink glitter.

“When did they get that kind of lawn decor?” asked Feratu.

“That’s not a lawn ornament,” said Sarah. “I think that’s a stray slash mark, and an unusually big one, too. Then again, the Words said earlier that ‘ **Tim And Cassandra Even Gave Money To the Parrs When Bills Became EXPENSIVE/’**. That last word being in all caps may explain the size of this particular slash mark. Y’know, for emphasis.”

Feratu’s face suddenly lit up like Christmas lights. “Sarah, can I keep it? Please? Pretty please??””

“It’s all yours, Fang-face.”

Feratu pulled the slash mark out of the Parrs’ lawn and began swinging it like a bo staff or polearm. It paid to be prepared for a fight with Joker, even (especially?) teen!Joker.

Meanwhile, Yuuna started fiddling with something that looked like a small gargoyle statue, and Solvig gazed curiously at the minis.

“So, did we miss anything?” Sarah asked the group. “I’m pretty sure we missed something.”

Feratu stopped twirling his slash mark. “I suppose it would be worth looking at what we skipped,” he said cautiously, before checking the Words. “...I see. Stu!Batman and Sue!Batwoman won over the entire Parr family almost immediately.”

“What a shocker...” muttered Yuuna to herself, still fiddling with the small gargoyle.

“Hey, vampires have super-senses, right?” Sarah asked Feratu. “Can you find out where our targets’ scent trail leads?”

He paused, looking at her in surprise. “Uh...no. Sin was pretty overpowered, but I don’t remember him having enhanced senses. That’s not a standard vampire trait anyway.”

“But vampires are  _supposed_ to be overpowered,” said Sarah. “Most of the ones I’ve read about have super strength and immortality, for a start…”

“You’re getting the wrong idea. It’s not the powers themselves that matter. It’s the way they’re written into the story. If Stu!Batman was so smart about zero-point energy, for example, then  _why wasn’t it ever mentioned again after the classroom scene?_ For all I know, it was just a dumb excuse for him to show off!”

“…Huh. Good point.”

“I say that it will be for the best if we stay here,” said Yuuna, putting the small statue in her bag. “I don’t like the possibility of being discovered by the Suvians, which we’ve been awfully close to since the beg—  _Woaaaah…_ ”

 The Agents turned to see what she was seeing, and… well, let’s just say that there’s no better way to react to Gothic Architecture than to stare wide-eyed and gaping like a fish out of water. Because that’s exactly what Sarah did for a full fifteen seconds.

 Feratu was about to take his sunglasses off in a sort of “Mother of God” gesture, but this apparently being the daytime, Sarah held up her hand to signal against it.

Once Sarah was able to close her mouth, she turned to Yuuna with a raised eyebrow. “Huh. I know I haven’t read into the DC canon as much as your partner has, but I don’t remember Wayne Manor looking  _this_  amazing.”

Yuuna shook her head vigorously, before composing herself and speaking. “I.. I don’t know. Why you don’t ask— her…?”

They turned around to see Solvig playing ‘Chase’ with the minis. When she realized that everyone was staring at her, she stopped and blinked curiously. “What?”

“Is Wayne Manor supposed to look like this?” asked Sarah.

The redhead replied, “Oh yes-yes! That! Well, leaving aside the fact that it’s an entire universe away from Gotham, the castle-mansion we see here is quite similar to the rebuilt Manor, made after the earthquake leveled it in  _Cataclysm_. But after checking the words, I wonder if the Author knows that, or if he even knows what  _Gothic_  means in arts. So, I’m not very sure if we should charge that. What do y’all think?”

Once she finished saying all of that, another mini-Bat-Mite, Alfread, poofed into existence, followed by a four-inch-tall man in a neat black suit who looked like Stephen Fry.

“Is this a pigeon?” Feratu asked jokingly, waving at the new mini.

“What, are those violets?” asked Sarah, pointing at some random flowers (which suddenly looked more like violets). “Huh, they were supposed to look like roses. Weird. Anyway, I don’t remember this kind of mini… What  _is_  it?”

“I’m Gieves, the mini-Jeeves, miss,” replied the small man.

“Jeeves?” asked Sarah, looking totally confused.

“I’ve heard of him,” Alfread mused. “It’s been a while, but...he’s from some old books and a TV show about this rich British dude and his...butler? Yeah, that sounds right.”

Kari`s whistled curiously, and the others gave him a funny look.

“What? I’m a resident of the fifth dimension, remember? Breaking the fourth wall is  _easy_.”

“ _Valet_ , actually,” Gieves corrected. “And the series proper is named _Jeeves and Wooster_.”

“Oh yeah… Gosh, I didn’t think minis from that old show would ever exist,” said Sarah. Then she looked at the Words again and did a double-take. “Now, wait just a diddly-darned second! How did Dash know of that show?! It was from the early 90’s, like,  _two decades_  after the events of the  _Incredibles_  canon!”

“The books are from the early twentieth century, miss,” Gieves commented.

Sarah facepalmed. “Never mind.”

“Also, Jeeves’ character inspired a whole bunch of other fictional butlers, including Alfred himself. We can’t charge an archetype,” added Solvig. Her eyes then opened fully. “Waitaminute. Just how old are you?”

“Sixteen. I’m technically from the early seventies, though my homefic took place in 1980. Suethors don’t do timelines very well.”

“How do you know when your movie takes place?” asked Feratu.

“I got turned to pink confetti on April 23, 1957,” Sarah replied. “I was present at Mr. and Mrs. Parr’s wedding, so it obviously took place before I died. And the events with Violet, Dash, and the whole Syndrome debacle happened fifteen years after that, which would make the year close to… uh… 1972.”

“Are there  _Batman_  canons dated to after that year? I know the comics started out in 1939, but there have been so many installments of that franchise since then.”

“Yup, in the Earth-1 continuum,” replied Solvig. “It was used during the Silver and Bronze Ages, and  lasted from about 1956 to 1986. It was the first time the DCU became a multi-title collective canon. Lots of crazy stuff happened during those times.”

“So if the Silver Age ended in 1970—”

“More or less...” said Solvig.

“—that means your movie and its backstory basically took place over the entire Silver Age,” Feratu remarked to Sarah. “Interesting.”

“Well, it’s Pixar property, not DC…”

“ _The Incredibles_  is an homage to the Silver Age of both DC and Marvel, Squall,” said Yuuna.

“But this fic uses too many Modern Age elements to be Silver Age-style,” replied Solvig.

“Y’know what, can we skip ahead?” Sarah asked, checking the Words. “There’s a random Bomb Voyage fight that takes place over the rest of this chapter, but I don’t think we can pick up anything new from there.”

“Too bad. I kinda wanted to test myself against that guy,” said Feratu, idly running a hand over his slash mark.

“Vamp, chill,” Sarah replied. “He hasn’t been replaced, Suefluenced, or otherwise affected in any way. You’ve already got your sights on Teen!Joker, so it’ll be best to save up your anger for when he shows up again.”

Yuuna checked the Words as well. “Well, as far as incoming charges go, there are some minis, whatever ‘ **The Maw Of Criminals** ’ is supposed to be—”

“Maybe he’s a hellhound that only exists to persecute or help criminals, depending on his mood!” interjected Solvig.

Yuuna glared at her. “And Violet suddenly using a  _Hard Light_  construct…”

“And nearly falling to her death, but the Stu saves her because of course,” added Feratu.

Sarah made a gagging gesture, and then raised an eyebrow. “Wait, Hard Light?”

“Stuff like Green Lantern’s Ring stuff,” replied Solvig.

“Can we just collect the minis, note whatever charges we need to, and get out ASAP? The longer we stay here, and the longer this mission drags out, the more likely we’ll lose our targets!”

Solvig shrugged and opened the portal. Sarah snatched the notebook from Feratu and followed her.

**********

The agents arrived at the start of Chapter Four, landing just outside the Parr family’s house once again, where they found four more mini-Bat-Mites and one more mini-Omnidroid. Helen’s angry voice could be heard from somewhere inside.

**"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE CAN`T SPEAK TO ME!**

**Helen Was Pacing Around, Holding a Phone To Her Ear.**

**She Had Been Trying To Reach The Mayor`s Office...With No Such Luck.**

**"TOO BUSY!**

**What The Heck Is He Doing: CUTTING ANOTHER RIBBON!**

**AFter a Few Monutes, helen Hangs Up the Phone In Frustration.**

**Bob Walked In (Quite Causously) AT His Enarged Wife.**

Fortunately, the agents didn’t get to see what an “enarged” person looked like. They did, however, get jolted a little by the brief tense change.

“We must do something about these minis,” said Yuuna, raising an eyebrow.

“Apparently, Stu!Batman’s being hunted like a criminal, even though from what Vamp said earlier, he actually saved Violet’s life,” said Sarah. “Well, at least that’s what I can gather from the passages we skipped. And worse still, Helen’s crying like an idiot. Well, she really did cry in the movie when she feared for Bob’s life while he was being held captive on Nomanisan, but referring to Violet as her ‘ **BABY’**? And telling Bob about seeing her daughter’s entire life flashing before her eyes? That’s just  _way_  too melodramatic for her.”

Solvig opened a portal to the Mini Adoption Center. “Hey, mini-Bat-Mites! This portal goes to the Batcave!”

The minis promptly flew through eagerly, and the portal closed behind them. Then she opened another portal for the mini-Omnidroids to go through, but the mini-Jeeves refused to go through a portal.

“I won’t go miss, not even in the force and road of casualty,” the mini said with indignation.

Meanwhile, Feratu tsked and shook his head yet again. “I’ll defer to your judgement regarding Helen, but here’s what I’m more worried about: I know Batman isn’t exactly the most admired of heroes, but isn’t being on the wanted list for  **Vigilantism**  a  _little_  much? Like Sarah said, he was the  _entire freaking reason_  Violet isn’t a grease stain on the sidewalk! Well, his Stuvian replacement is, anyway.”

“ _Nah_ , being wanted for vigilantism is pretty normal as far as Batman goes,” said Solvig, temporarily ignoring Gieves. “I’d recommend you read New 52’s  _Justice League #1_ , if you want to see for yourself.”

“Hey, where is ‘Batman’, anyway?” asked Sarah.

The vampire looked at the Words with a raised eyebrow. “He and Sue!Batwoman are coming over to visit. Apparently, the Parr family wants to throw a party in their honor.”

Yuuna threw a protesting Gieves through a portal. “Well, this time worked. Wait… If they don’t have money for the bills, how are they throwing a party?”

“The Stu paid them off, duh,” said Sarah, checking the Words once again. “Anyway, I think we can skip the entire barbecue party scene. I’d like to pick up some food, sure, but I  _really_ don’t want to stick around to watch some a-hole argue that Supers shouldn’t be a thing. Or the Stu shouting him down.”

“And we’ve also got a nightmare-sequence-slash-flashback to when the Stu’s parents died,” added Feratu. “Typical Batman stuff, but I’m not sure if it’s a pity ploy, angst, or something else.”

“If it’s meant to make the reader pity the bastard, it isn’t working,” Sarah snarled. “I know a certain former Sue-wraith who tried the exact same thing, and look what happened to him.”

“A British woman splattered his glittery brains over a wall with a baseball bat?” replied Yuuna.

Sarah gave her a slightly cross look. “Uh...no. Cupid’s backstory was good enough to work by itself, but compared with the history of the guy he was possessing, it just didn’t add up. Of course, he was purified by Lady Palutena after we exorcised him, but most Sue-wraiths aren’t that lucky.”

“Your partner’s a Sue-wraith?” asked Feratu. “And who’s Lady Palutena?”

Sarah sighed. “ _Kid Icarus_ mission _._  I’ll explain after we’re done for today. For now, let’s get to the next major scene and watch the charges keep piling up.”

Then  **Wayne Entertprises** , another mini-Bat-Mite, poofed in.

Ignoring the mini for the moment, the agents portaled their way past the party and the nightmare sequence, stopping only to sneak a few burgers out of the dining area for later. At the end of the fourth chapter, the agents soon found themselves in the Parr’s living room and scrambled for cover behind the furniture, while the Parr family was comforting Violet and the Suvian siblings.

“I’m sorry, but one mini-Bat-Mite is quite enough for me, thank you,” Feratu said with an exasperated sigh. He opened a portal to the Adoption Center. “Wanna see the Batmobile?”

The mini squeed and immediately flew through.

Then,  **Helen Narrowed Her Eyes In Anger.**

**"I Always Hated That Law That forced Us Into Hiding...**

**Helen Clenched Her Fists, Which Made a Rubbery Sound.**

**"but now...I Hate It MORE THAN EVER. Said Helen, WIth Venom In her Voice**

When she said that, out of Helen’s mouth, a black ooze emerged, which then took a manlike form with a white spider symbol covering him. Sarah had to really scramble for the antiemetic this time.

“Moooom?” asked Dash. “Who’s this guy and how’d he get in our house that quick?!”

Yuuna put on her sunglasses and grabbed the man with a growl. 

“Hey, you’re an Agent of SH—”

_FLASH!_

“Eugene ‘Flash’ Thompson, a.k.a Agent Venom, you were never here, and you have never met this family or me.” She opened a portal to SHIELD HQ. “Step through this portal, please.”

After he left, she turned to the Parrs.  _FLASH!_ “We were never here and you might carry on with whatever you’re doing.” She then opened a portal, through which the Agents went to the next chapter, landing in   **[Meanwhile, Somewhere Else]**. Specifically,  **Deep Inside The Master tower Of XERIC INDUSTRIES...**

“Wait, did we skip anything?” asked Sarah. “I think we skipped something.”

“More Twu Wuv between the Stu and Violet, apparently,” said Feratu. “Solvig, intel. Where are we now?”

“I don’t know…” replied the redhead.

“Okay, are there any more Suvian characters coming up?”

“Probably,” replied Yuuna. “Sorry for the neuralyzation, but I had to act fast.” She sighed and checked the Words. “Now who’s this Xeri—?” A mini-Omnidroid rolled up to her feet, and she sighed. “Nevermind. Squall, I might need your help here.”

“Oh, were you going to ask about Xerek?” the Super replied with a raised eyebrow. “He’s a villain from the  _Incredibles_  comics. Specifically, an old ex-boyfriend of Helen’s who defamed the family shortly before the comic got cancelled. Fun fact: he was originally slated to be the main antagonist of the movie itself, but Syndrome proved more popular.”

“No, I think this fic was referring to Xer _ic,_ ” said Feratu. “Which is a different name. Is this guy a replacement or just outright Villain Stu?”

Sarah squinted a little. “Oh balls, you’re right! He doesn’t even  _look_  like the same guy, because Xerek appears a lot older due to some kind of accelerated aging process. Stu it is, then!”

The agents listened to Xeric’s evil plan, which involved bringing in his  **"Old Friend"** , the Underminer.

“ _That_  guy  _is_  a canon,” said Sarah. “He shows up at the end of the movie, and he’s the antagonist in the sequel video game,  _Rise of the Underminer_.”

“But how does Xeric know him?” asked Feratu. Then he scowled and added, “Never mind. Nothing’s impossible for a Gary Stu, apparently, villainous or otherwise.”

Yuuna browsed through the files in the Fictionary. “I see... The author’s apparently using an early draft of  _The Incredibles_ , which includes Xerek.”

“Cool cool,” said Sarah, checking the Words. “We can skip the rest of this chapter, I think. Violet sneaks out of the Parr house in the wake of the Stu making an ass of himself at the barbecue party. Then she gets assaulted by a certain group of thugs and, as usual, bailed out by Stu!Batman. Nothing special.”

“Great!” said Solvig. She held up a newly-revived Tim`s. “But what should we do with this little fella?”

Sarah facepalmed. “Throw it away,” she muttered. “We need to get to the next chapter. No more wasting our time!”

Yuuna snatched the mini-Stu and threw him through a portal.

“Where did you take it?” asked Feratu, raising an eyebrow. “If it’s where the mini-Bat-Mites are, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.”

“No,” said Yuuna with a smirk. “I portaled him above one of the jet turbines of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier. Thanks for the idea, Squall.”

Sarah gave her a Death Glare a certain leonine Floater would’ve been proud of; Feratu put a warning hand on Sarah’s shoulder before the Super could respond.

**********

The agents portaled their way into the next chapter, where yet another mini-Bat-Mite ( **Leslie Thomkins** ) joined them, and Violet excitedly messaged the Stu about an upcoming dance at her high school.

“What, like a square dance? With baked beans and banjos?” Sarah quipped. “Violet probably wouldn’t be so excited for something like that, methinks.”

“Oh my, a prom with parents. How exciting,” replied Yuuna deadpan.

“What’s so bad about proms?” asked Sarah. “They’re practically the hallmark of any high school experience! Not that I’d know personally, though. I died before I could go through mine – and for the record,  _Yuunie_ , you really didn’t have to treat it so casually! I  _despise_  aircraft of any kind, and for a damn good reason.”

Yuuna shrugged dismissively. “My problem here is not with the prom, my problem is that the  _parents_ are there. Who thinks  _that’_ s a good idea?”

Solvig raised her right hand. “Uh… What’s a prom? Is it tasty?”

The minis all facepalmed. Even the mini-Omnidroids.

“Prom is a semi-formal dance at the end of the year that’s kind of a rite of passage for high-schoolers,” Sarah explained. “To answer your question, Yuuna, the author probably did, and I think I know why that was the case.”

Yuuna sighed deeply. “All right, Squall, I’ll humor you.  _Why_  was that?”

“Because a certain someone’s going to crash the prom. Three guesses who’ll save the day, and the first two don’t count. Hint: it ain’t the Parr family.”

“The Riddler!” interjected Solvig.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments.

“Solvig, that’s stupid,” said Yuuna.

“Okay, okay… I was joking. Lighten up  _will’ya_? I know it’s going to be Teen!Not!Batman.”

Then everyone realized that Violet was watching them from her window, gasping in surprise.

Yuuna smacked Solvig on the forehead. “That’s why you _never_  shout in infiltration missions.” She then reached for her neuralyzer and sunglasses. “Now everyone, shut your eyes or put on your sunglasses.”  _FLASH!_ “Violet Parr, there’s nobody here. You’re going to close the window and get ready to go to sleep.”

Violet blinked twice, closed her window, and went to sleep.

There was an awkward silence, and then Solvig said, “What happened? Did I miss something?”

Yuuna sighed and facepalmed. “You got neuralyzed again, didn’t you?” Then took out another pair of sunglasses from her bag. “Take these. I forgot to give them to you at the RC, and don’t forget again to put them on or close your eyes.”

Sarah chuckled, shaking her head. “Let’s just get to the prom. ”

“Anyone else have any brilliant ideas? No? Good, let’s go,” said Yuuna as she opened the portal.

**********

**[Later, At School]**

The agents appeared just outside the school’s gym, alongside three more mini-Omnidroids.

Yuuna pulled something that looked like an old pencil case out of her bag. “I think we might need this.”

“What, a pencil box?” Sarah scoffed. “What good will we get outta something that small?”

Yuuna rolled her eyes. “Squall, I expected better from you. This is the D.O.R.K.S.”

“...Really? The first time I used one of those, it looked like a little gray cube covered in buttons.”

“You do know that this device disguises itself, don’t you?”

Sarah looked at her blankly. “...Oh. Never mind, I’m dumb! I think Lapis used it on our last mission, I dunno…”

Yuuna shook her head and entered a code in the device. After a flash of light and some futuristic sound effects, she was wearing a black dress with red lacework and had a red feather in her hair. “ _Huh_ , weird. I’ve never used this style before,” she said to herself.

She passed the D.O.R.K.S. to Sarah, who changed into formal clothes as well. Solvig and Feratu likewise handled it in turn.

“If anyone asks, my dress is blue and black,” said Sarah, currently wearing a mildly flattering white dress with stripes of gold lace.

Leslie Thomkins snickered. “Good one, kid.”

Feratu, decked out in a black tuxedo and red dress shirt, raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He also brushed some hair away from his white eyepatch.

Solvig, meanwhile, had on a simple frilly strapless cerulean dress, but her hair was now longer and blonde. “What? I like looking like Kara every once in a while.”

“Considering that you were apparently a clone of her, I’m not surprised at all,” Feratu replied slyly. “And don’t worry, I can relate. My canon counterpart’s colors don’t exactly mesh well with a formal setting, so I used the  _Young Justice_ Robin as inspiration.”

 “ _Oh_ , your canon counterpart _does_  look great in a suit,” replied Solvig with a flirty smile, before winking at him.

If Feratu could have blushed, he would have. Instead, he looked at Sarah and asked, “Just wondering, how come you and Yuuna didn’t take cues from your respective continua?”

“I like #TheDress better than my old Super outfit,” Sarah laughed, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Capes don’t fit in here any more than Robin’s color scheme.”

“Could we please stop speaking about dresses and focus on the Duty?” Yuuna replied after sending the minis through a portal. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

Yuuna then entered the gym, followed closely by the rest of the Agents, and led them to an isolated corner.

“Here is much better,” she said when they got there. “No one will pay attention to us here. Now we must watch and register the charges we see.”

This lasted approximately five minutes. “I’m bored,” said Solvig. “I’m gonna take a look at the snack table.”

“Wait, stop…” Yuuna hissed, but the Kryptonian ignored her and went anyway.

“What’s with her?” asked Feratu.

“When you’ve gotta eat, you’ve gotta eat,” Sarah replied with a smirk.

Solvig arrived at the snack table, pushing her way through the Generic Student Bit Characters, but upon seeing all those Generic Snacks and Generic Refreshments, the disappointment was palpable on her face. “ _Derp!_  I expected something better than the food from the Cafeteria here…” she said, pouting. Then she realized that Dash was staring at her. She turned her gaze around nervously, then hesitantly smiled and waved at him.

Dash smiled back at her. “Hello! Have I met you before?  _Duh_ , of course not! You look older than me. Which grade are you from? What’s your name? You’re pretty. Do you have a boyfriend? My sister has one. Well anyway, nice meeting ya! See ya!” He took a bunch of Generic Snacks and left, leaving Solvig dumbfounded, mouth agape, and blushing slightly.

Once she recovered from that, she snorted in relief, leaning backwards on the table, and turned to the corner she had came from. There she saw Yuuna and Sarah bickering, with Feratu acting as a mediator,  _again._ She sighed, took one of the Generic Refreshments and thought,  _I hope this tastes like grape soda._ She took a sip, and… it tasted like grape soda. Surprised, she took a look to the now grape soda can she was holding in her hand. “Oh my! The situation is this bad!?” She unfocused her sight to see the Words, occasionally sipping from her soda as she spoke to herself. “Hum… Space-time probably is being badly twisted to near its breaking point, due to this formatting and grammar... And that’s not taking into account how the fic is treating both canons...” She kept meditating in silence about this for a while, and ignored Helen’s and the Sue’s conversation about the past relationships of the Stu and Violet, completely unaware of the weird looks that the generic teenagers were giving her thanks to the rant about space-time.

Then “ **The Slow Dance** ” started. Solvig did a rather forceful spittake when she realized what song was playing, and after apologizing to the random girl she’d covered in soda, hurried back to the corner, then waved her arms to call the attention of the bickering teens. “Hey girls! I have something to tell ya!”

“ _WHAT!?”_  replied both Yuuna and Sarah.

Solvig hesitated slightly, then said, “Hear that song? It’s  _‘Nobody Lives Without Love’_ from the  _Batman Forever_  soundtrack, which came out in 1995! So, who’s keeping tab of the charges? ‘Cuz I’m pretty sure that’s one.”

Sarah held up the notebook. “You rang? Y'know, like a 2000's-era ringtone in 1980?”

“Squall, that pun was horrible,” said Yuuna, raising an eyebrow.

“What pun?”

“Rang… Ringtone… Does that  _ring_  a bell?”

“That was completely unintentional, I swear! I – oh, you did  _not._ ”

“So, are ya goin’ to write it?” insisted Solvig.

“Oh, yeah! Gotcha!” the Super replied, hastily noting the charge – and almost missing the moment when the Stu and Sue decided to make their exit.

Feratu nudged Solvig’s shoulder. “You totally called it. Nice work.”

“Who did I call?” she replied.

“Well, you said earlier that Stu!Batman would —”

“Talk later, find them now!” Sarah interrupted.

The lights promptly went out.

“Oh,  _crapbaskets_!” shouted Yuuna, looking visibly annoyed.

“We’re too late,” added Feratu. “Night vision goggles or something would  _really_  come in handy right now...”

“With my powers unlimited, I could do it,” remarked Solvig, seconds before the lights came back on and  **Several Teen Punks With Make-Up Ran In.**

“Everybody, back to the corner where we were,” said Yuuna, already heading there. When the other agents arrived, Yuuna read ahead in the Words, and immediately put Solvig in an arm lock.

“Wha ― Hey! What are you doing?” protested Solvig.

Yuuna turned to Sarah. “Squall, no matter what happens next, any of us interfering would be a Very Bad Idea. Restrain your partner any way you can!”

Sarah promptly whisked Feratu to the nearest men’s room, shoved him inside, and slammed the door. As an afterthought, she grabbed a janitor’s broom and barred the door with it.

Meanwhile, another mini-Bat-Mite,  **TEH WAYNE`S** , appeared, and Teen!Joker introduced himself as that night’s entertainment.

“Lemme at ‘im!” Solvig cried, trying to break Yuuna’s hold. “He just  _stole Ledger!Joker’s line!”_

“No!” whispered Yuuna before slamming her into a wall. “You. Will. Stay. Put!”

Sarah had her back to the door, ignoring the loud banging coming from the other side. Then she realized that Teen!Joker had grabbed Violet, who had remained in the gym along with the other prom-goers while the Stu and Sue had run off.

Sarah stared at the scene before her, horror-stricken, and in the meantime the banging on the bathroom door became more intense.

“Squall, don’t even  _think_  about it!” cried Yuuna.

The Super agent’s eyes teared up a little. “But — b-but —”

“She’s right,” said Feratu  from behind the door. “If you go after Teen!Joker now, you’ll blow our cover, and then we’ll have to deal with him  _and_  Stu!Batman!”

“And Bat-Sue, and every other Suefluenced canon in this place,” Yuuna added.

“But you wanted to —” Sarah started pleading to Feratu.

“I know! But I’ve got an idea.”

“You’re not the only one,” said Yuuna.

“I hope you know what we’re up against, Fang-Face, ‘cuz if we have to scroll through the rest of the fic to find out, we’ll be taking too long!” Sarah cried.

On cue, Batboy and his sibling arrived and started tag-teaming Harley and Teen!Joker. Sarah briefly wondered how soon it would be before the door handle started turning like in  _Jurassic Park_ , but then she noticed the still-in-place broom handle.

“Dibs on the mallet if no one else wants it,” said Yuuna.

“Com’on! Let me go! What if someone gets hurt?” mumbled Solvig to the wall.

Suddenly, Solvig perked up. “Build up his  _‘criminal empire’_?  _That_  is  _not_ something  _The Joker_  will do!”

The Replacements kept fighting for a while, Harley got thrown on a table with food, and then Teen!Joker proceeded to gas Helen, who started laughing. Sarah cringed, the memories of her homefic flooding her brain, but she had to follow Yuuna’s advice and hold herself back.

Thankfully, although Teen!Joker escaped, the Stu was able to undo the effects of the laughing gas. Sarah silently thanked him for it, knowing he wouldn’t do anything else to help her (however indirectly).

“The rest of this chapter consists of a vehicle chase involving the replacements and some unfortunate sports cars,” the Super agent said. “Teen!Joker won’t be showing up anytime soon, so…”

An abrupt scene change to outside the gym sent them all to the floor once again.

 Once they’d picked themselves up again, Yuuna grabbed Solvig’s shoulders. “Solvig, listen to me, I’ll need you to focus. Teen!Joker and Harley must be a long way from here by now, and you’re one of the few of us fast enough to catch them.”

“But…” replied the Kryptonian.

A heavily armored tank-like vehicle appeared in the parking lot, crushing multiple cars and sufficiently distracting Solvig.

“Wait a minute. Wait. A. Minute. Is that the  _Tumbler_?” Feratu asked in disbelief. “Oh, good grief…”

“No buts,” said Yuuna. She took a deep breath. “Deactivate.”

Sarah backed away a little, motioning for Feratu to do the same. “You know what’s next, don’t you?” she whispered to him.

Solvig grabbed her ears, growling in pain as her senses overloaded, and slowly opened her eyes, her irises changing in size randomly, then she said, “No… no nonononono,  _NO!_ ” Her thighs tensed, and then she jumped, causing a small shockwave that threw Yuuna to the ground.

“That… didn’t go as well as I expected,” said Yuuna, rising from the ground and dusting herself off.

“That’s what happens when you have to work with someone with superpowers,” Sarah replied, shrugging. “At least Feratu would know better about that… right?”

She turned, but found that the vampire was missing. And a moment later, she felt around her pocket and did a double take. “Ahh! My RA is gone!”

“Let’s go after them, Squall,” said Yuuna, opening a portal. “God only knows what kind ofstunt those two  _idiots_  are going to try.”

**********

The Replacement, meanwhile, sped through a Generic Highway in his car, when a sonic boom was heard, and the road before him exploded.

“Woah! What Was That!?” Harley cried.

Two ominous red lights were seen in the dust cloud, and before anyone could react, a blur sped out of it, punched through the car’s grill, ripped out the engine block, then stood to the Replacement’s side of the car. Then Not!Joker and Harley could see that the blur was actually a blonde teen female in a cerulean prom dress, with red glowing eyes and that was holding up the engine block with her right hand.

“Puddin’, I`m Scared…” said Harley.

“Ha!” replied Teen!Joker, “Don`t Worry My Darlin’. This Will Put A Smile On This Gal`s Face.” Then he threw a Joker Bomb to Solvig.

The bomb exploded, filling the air around Solvig’s head with Joker Gas, but she simply stood there, unfazed.

Teen!Joker’s face turned serious. “Wait. Why Aren`t You Laughing?”

“I’m laughing on the inside,” Solvig replied deadpan.

She proceeded to drop the engine, flip the car upside down then grab and shake it vigorously. Once Harley and the replacement had landed on the pavement, she threw it a few miles away.

“HA! I Was going To Wreck that Thing AnyWay,” said Teen!Joker, springing to his feet. He pulled out a deck of Razor Playing Cards and prepared to throw them. “BUt You`re StiLl a ROYAL Pain in The—*”

He suddenly dropped the playing cards and choked. Glitter ran from the corners of his mouth, and he looked down to see eighteen inches of ugly pink steel sticking out of his stomach.

“Teen!Joker,” Feratu’s voice hissed in his ear, “by order of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you are hereby convicted of being a character replacement on account of the following charges: Replacing the canonical character of The Joker; being underaged in comparison to said canon; planning to take over all organized crime in the city when your canon counterpart is essentially Chaotic Evil personified; stealing a line from a much better Joker than you — you weren’t tonight’s entertainment by  _anybody’s_  standards, pal; attacking multiple canons from a different continuum for no conceivable reason, despite it being somewhat in-character for the real Joker; and being in the  _Incredibles_  continuum at all, for the same lack of a reason. Your sentence is death, and you get no last words.”

Another portal opened, and they heard Yuuna saying “Activate!”

Solvig’s eyes stopped glowing and she slumped to her knees with a sigh.

Yuuna stepped through the portal just in time to see Feratu feeding. “You… you... can keep doing whatever you’re doing…” She then turned to face away from him.

The Joker replacement had already gone limp, the vampire’s fangs embedded in his jugular.

A moment later, Sarah joined the group, looking understandably shocked and disappointed. “I forgot that you weren’t restrained,” she said to Feratu, cringing at the sight of the dining vampire. “Enjoying your meal?”

He stood up, pulling the slash mark out of Teen!Joker’s lifeless husk, and opened a portal into a prehistoric landscape, right next to some  _Brachiosaurus_ es swimming in a lake that reflected the red sky. He kicked the body through the portal, closing it just before a certain meteor came crashing down.

Feratu flicked some glitter off the slash mark. “Meh. He tasted... funny,” he said dryly, putting his sunglasses back on in the same instant.

[YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!]went Sarah’s C-CAD. She pinched the bridge of her nose, but remained silent.

Solvig, meanwhile, was back on her feet, with decision on her face she advanced towards Harley, who crawled backwards in her fear... but then Solvig took out her neuralyzer and put on her sunglasses.

Everyone else other than Harley closed their eyes.  _FLASH!_

“Doctor Harleen Quinzel, a.k.a. Harley Quinn, you have never been here, you never met a teenage version of the Joker or us, and you have no idea who the Incredibles are. You have been just arrested after your short crime spree with the Joker, and you’re being led now to your cell in Arkham Asylum. Step through this door, please.” She opened a portal to Arkham and led Harley through it.

“You OK, Solvig?” asked Sarah. “You look like you’ve been through hell.”

“I… read everything…” replied Solvig. “I know everything that the Stu’s goin’ to do… And… _I DON’T LIKE IT!_ ” Her eyes began crackling with red energy. “He-he-he’s going to burn…”

“That’s not a good sign,” said Sarah, beautifully stating the obvious.

“One down, three to go,” said Feratu, wiping the glitter off his lips. “We may have to do some major chapter skipping, again. If we have enough charges against our remaining targets, we can jump right to the major ones and then cut in at a critical moment.”

“We lack charges against Not!Xerek,” replied Yuuna, packing up all the gadgets and the mallet that Harley had left behind. “We could portal to a point where another bit reveals Xerek’s plans; something may show up there.”

“Feratu, you’re wrong…” said Solvig.

“Hey, I said ‘if’,” he replied, shrugging.

**********

Once the group had changed back into their normal clothing, Yuuna opened the portal, and the Agents stepped through it…straight into a horde of minis, including six mini-Bat-Mites and no less than  _ten_  new mini-Omnidroids. A newly-revived Tim`s and a new mini-Sue, Cassnadra, appeared a moment later. Fortunately, the generic scientist at his desk noticed absolutely none of them.

“Where are we?” asked Sarah.

Feratu checked the Words. “Told you there’d be a lot of chapter skipping,” he replied. “We’re in Chapter… Nine, I think.”

“Some sort of Science Center,” whispered Solvig. “Come on, the Suvian siblings are gonna be here soon.”

The mini-Omnidroids, meanwhile, ganged up on Tim`s and Cassnadra and tore them to glittery pink shreds.

“Wow, those little guys learn fast,” Feratu commented as they migrated to a dark corner. “Think they’d be any help fighting off the real deal?”

“Doubtful,” replied Yuuna in a whisper. “I don’t see ho— _woaaah_! Who’s the owner of that hand!?”

“What hand?” asked Sarah. Feratu shrugged, knowing no more than she did.

“Oh. Sorry about that,” said Solvig pulling her hand out. “Feratu, can you move, please? You’re cold.”

“Oh, right. Sorry,” he replied, edging away from her and accidentally bumping into Sarah, who promptly shuddered.

“No kidding,” the Super hissed under her breath. “Your hands are freezing!”

Then the Stu and Sue arrived and snuck up on the scientist. He (“Dr. Wong” according to the fic) hung up, then turned around to find the Stu directly in front of him.

**"Doctor Wong...**

**Dr. Wong Gasped In Terror.**

**He Turned To Run, But Batwoman Blocked His Way.**

**"PLEASE!, D-DON`T HURT ME!**

**"Only If You Tell Me What I Want To Know...**

**"I Don`t Know ANYTHING!**

**"I Think You Do...**

**Underminer Stole Syndrome`s ZERO POINT ENERGY Guantlets For Xeric.**

**But, It Is IMPOSSIBLE To Rebuild Them...Now, Xeric Is Using a DNA Tracker.**

Syndrome`s the mini-Omnidroid beeped twice when it heard its name.

The voices seemed to come from everywhere. Ignoring her sudden migraine, Sarah took out her notepad and angrily began ranting and scribbling. “Okay, what the actual frickety-frackin’  _bleep?!_  Syndrome’s gauntlets didn’t end up being stolen by the Underminer! One of them got blasted off by the Omnidroid and used by Mr. Incredible! And really? A  _DNA Tracker?!_ ”

“He stole them in the chapters we skipped,” Solvig whispered.

“I meant in canon. Which the badfic’s already thrown through  _both_  of the engines of Syndrome’s Manta Plane and blown up a hundred times over with the Omnidroid’s death ray!”

“Squall, lower your voice!” hissed Yuuna.

“Right. Sorry!” the Super whispered, carefully edging towards the corner of the room. “But still… How does a DNA Tracker even  _work_ , anyway?!”

“You can ask Doctor Richards about that,” whispered Yuuna.

By this point, the Stu had made the Bit confess that Xeric  **Wanted Syndrome`s DNA...The Guantlet`s Was RICH With It.**

“Excuse me for a moment.” Sarah snatched the RA from Feratu, opened a portal to the Metroville trainyard, and stepped through before closing it. Around thirty seconds later, another portal opened, and Sarah joined her partners again, clutching her sides with tears in her eyes.

“Um, what?” Feratu said blankly.

“Sorry,” Sarah chortled, having apparently laughed herself hoarse back at the trainyard. “It’s just… DNA… Gauntlets… They were practically  _vaporized_  when he got turned into pink mist! How could his armor get sucked into a jet turbine along with him and come out intact?!”

“Via plothole,” whispered Solvig, maintaining a completely straight face.

Sarah checked the Words, and wisely decided to bite back a fit of even more intense sarcastic laughter. “And the NSA confiscated Syndrome’s  _remains?!_ As if there were any to confiscate in the first place!”

“So, Not!Xerek helped Syndrome get started,” whispered Yuuna. “The author is definitely using the first draft…”

“Xer _ic_ , remember?” said Sarah.

**Out Of fear, The Doctor Finally SCreamed.**

**"LAZARUS! Shrieked The Doctor**

**Batman Widened His Eyes In Shock.**

**"Lazarus...**

**Batman Narrowed His Eyes.**

**"The Lazarus Pits…**

A stray quotation mark floated past the agents. Solvig’s eyes crackled with her solar energy, but she made no other reaction.

“Now, those things  _definitely_  weren’t in my movie,” said Sarah.

“Obviously not.” Feratu rolled his eyes. “I thought you knew they’re associated exclusively with Ra’s al Ghul.”

“I was trying to be funny.”

“Not buying it. Sorry.”

“The worst… is yet to come…” Solvig muttered cryptically.

Yuuna stared at her, and then whispered to Sarah, “Squall… She’s starting to scare me.”

“That makes two of us,” the Super replied.

“Three,” added Feratu. “And not to instruct the bad guys or anything, but wouldn’t cloning Syndrome be a lot easier than using the Lazarus Pits?”

“Yeah, exactly!” Sarah snapped, now looking murderously angry. “And it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch, either, considering that I was cloned from just a  _hair…_ ”

“Unless they want him with all of his memories,” said Yuuna.

“Hey,  _I_  remember my past as a Super,” said Sarah.

“Really. Does Laura Kinney have the memories of James Howlett? Or did Madelyne Prior have the ones from Jean Grey? No, they di—”

“Nor Conner Kent the memories of Luthor and Superman,” interrupted Solvig. “And Inertia didn’t have the ones from Bart Allen.”

“Point is,” growled Yuuna, “that unless you’re a bad writer, the only way for a clone to remember a previous life is for someone else to record and imprint the memories during the cloning process.”

Sarah paused for a moment, stroking her chin. “So… the genetic memory thing from my homefic would’ve been chargeworthy? Because I’m pretty sure we kept all of our memories.”

“As far as I know, none of the continua your homefic tied together featured anything even close to that,” Feratu pointed out. “And it’s not common in the DC Comics universe, either. Doomsday retained his memories upon being cloned multiple times, but he was an exception. So, yeah, it was, but we can’t exactly do anything about that now, can we?”

Sarah shrugged. “No, I guess not. This scene’s almost over; we’d better find Not!Xerek and stop him before we have to deal with a  _Syndrome_ replacement, too.”

“It’s too late,” said Solvig. “He’s already on his way to the Lazarus Pit.”

Sarah shook her head. “It’s not too late to do something. We still need to keep Violet from getting into any more trouble than she’s already in!”

Solvig shrugged and opened a portal to the next chapter in front of them.

“You three go on ahead,” said Yuuna. “I still have matters to attend to...”

Sarah, Feratu, Solvig, and the mini-Omnidroids stepped through the portal without a word.

**********

They arrived in a cavern with a small blue-green pool in it just in time to watch as  **The Troopers Tossed The Coffin Into Pool.**

“Aaaaand that adds one more replacement to our hitlist,” Sarah growled.

“Do you have anything that could help?” asked Feratu. “I’m not sure if your strength would be enough.”

“I  _do_  have a two-handed sword with ice powers, but I’m not sure if it can be of any use in either of the continua this fic put together. But if we can catch Syndrome before he gets any major-league OP abilities and such, I guess it could help. After all, he’s just a nerd with anger issues once you get rid of all his gadgetry.”

Solvig chuckled darkly. “Dear Rao, you have no idea…”

Some time later, another portal opened, and Yuuna stepped out of it, bruised and battered. She dusted herself off before turning to the others. “Did I miss something?”

“Well, Syndrome’s being brought back from the dead,” Feratu groaned, baring his fangs. “And now we have to put him back where he belongs. Again.”

“If you have any suggestions for dealing with him, I hope none of them involve jet turbines,” Sarah added.

“Well I’m sure we’ll have a plan when it comes to it,” said Yuuna, opening a portal for the mini-Omnidroids. Then she turned to Feratu. “Robinson, can you please help me with the other minis? If any of you want to know what I did before coming here, the lightshow you made when you left attracted too much attention, and I’m getting much better with the neu—”

“The time has come…” said Solvig in a monotone.

The now-dented coffin lid flew out of the pool and landed near them. Seconds later,  **a Figure Emerged From The Murky Waters.  
a Man With Red, Flame-Lie Hair...But Was Now More Muscular And Had a Crazed Look In His Eyes.**

Sarah mouthed wordlessly, looking utterly horrified.

The mini-Omnidroids huddled together and backed away from the twisted version of their former master.

“Lemme guess. That’s not Syndrome?” asked Feratu.

“No,” Sarah replied quietly, her knuckles turning white. “That is a monster. An abomination that does not deserve to taint this continuum, or any other continuum.”

“So, I think you may be guessing why we got here, aside from the arrival of Mister Replacement there,” said Solvig. “There’s lots of stuff wrong here. First of all, the Lazarus Pit doesn’t work like that. It needs a body in good condition. According to what I’ve read of this fic, Syndrome’s been dead for one or two years. Dumping what rotting remains are left of Syndrome in the Pit would most likely bring him back as an  _undead_ , like the revived alternate versions of the Justice League in the ‘Absolute Power’ arc of  _Superman/Batman_. It doesn’t increase a person’s muscle mass, either. If it could, Jason Todd would’ve been a superhuman upon revival, which he wasn’t. The Pit only  _rejuvenates_  the body. Lastly, each Lazarus Pit can only be used  _once._ And if someone said that they work multiple times in this AU, then  _why didn’t Ra’s al Ghul put guards in here?_  He’s not derping Solomon Grundy! He’s one of the few people in the world who can outwit  _the_  Batman, he’s got centuries of experience,  _and_  he’s accumulated enough wealth over those centuries to have a  _personal army_. You’re going to tell me he never thought to put guards in places as important as his Lazarus Pits? You’re derping mad!”

All three of her partners stared at her, open-mouthed. Sarah’s eyes looked glazed-over.

Solvig took multiple deep breaths. “See, Feratu? I told you you were wrong. We’ve got  _four_  more to go.” She opened a portal and stepped through it.

“We should’ve stopped the fic completely after Teen!Joker attacked,” the vampire grumbled, facepalming once again.

“Of course! How could I forget it?” Yuuna suddenly said. Then she grabbed Feratu by the wrist. “Squall, you follow Solvig. This guy and I have something to do somewhere else.” She opened another portal and dragged Feratu through it.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. “What’s eating her?” But no one answered that question, because she had been already left alone, with an open portal to her side.

**********

Yuuna and Feratu arrived at the non-canonical Wayne Manor, but were only able to nose around a little before they heard the pumping of a shotgun and a familiar voice behind them.

“Identify yourselves!”

Yuuna glanced at Feratu and nodded. Then she prepared her neuralyzer in her hand.

Alfred narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Turn around, young lady, and put your hands where I can see them, or I’ll be forced to shoot you.”

Yuuna raised her hands and turned around slowly with her eyes tightly closed, and then,  _FLASH!_

She opened her eyes and sighed in relief, and poked Feratu with her elbow. “Robinson, that was your cue.”

“Alfred Pennyworth,” the vampire said coolly, “you are the butler of Bruce Wayne, as well as his legal guardian, best friend, and surrogate parent. You have never met a teenaged version of Bruce Wayne or any other de-aged superhero, you have never met anyone with the surname of Parr, and we were never here. Now, if you’ll just step this way…”

Yuuna opened a portal and gently guided him into it. Once this was done, she turned to the vampire. “So Robinson, want to get a souvenir?”

“Oh, yeah,” Feratu replied, flashing a fanged smile. “If we’re gonna take down an army of character replacements, we might as well be prepared.”

**********

Meanwhile, Solvig and Sarah arrived at a very dark and damp place, where they barely could see their hands in front of their faces.

“Uh, where are we?” asked Sarah.

Then another portal opened in the darkness, from which Feratu and Yuuna stepped out.

“My, it’s dark in here,” said Yuuna. “Do any of you know where ‘here’ is anyway?”

“This doesn’t look like any canon location,” Feratu commented. “I hope it’s not a Stu version of the Batcave…”

At that moment the lights went on, and they could see the Stu walking through the walkways of a large cave with many facilities and high-tech devices. Then the Stu walked to a big computer in the central platform, turned it on, and a computerized voice said,  **"NOMANISAN ISLAND BATCAVE IS NOW ONLINE..."**

Sarah was dead silent for five whole seconds. And then she let out a gagging noise, her eyes rolling back in her head, and she collapsed onto her hands and knees, a rope of drool already trickling from her mouth.

The other agents realized what was happening a moment too late. Before they could move in, Sarah vomited all over the floor in front of her. The retching noise caused an echo loud enough, that made the Stu actually look around to see what was causing that noise, setting off the alarm a moment later.

Once the alarm was triggered, Yuuna used her RA to open a portal underneath the other Agents, causing them to fall through it. She then jumped through and closed it behind her, just in time, before the Stu discovered where they were located.

The Agents fell into the waves just off a random beach of Nomanisan Island, prompting the mini-Bat-Mites to produce pieces of cardboard with random numbers from 7 to 10 written on them in black marker. Solvig stood up fast, gasping for air, and started walking towards the sand without saying a single word.

Yuuna, who unlike the others fell on her feet, started dragging Sarah towards the shore. “ _Sigh_ … Seriously Squall, how can you be that loud and never get caught by Suvians when you’re in your  _own_  missions?”

Sarah coughed up some water and glared at her. “You  _honestly_  think I’m  _that_  stupid? I’ve only gotten caught throwing up  _once_ , and we managed to fix the continua involved after that without too much trouble!”

When they had finally arrived at the shore, Solvig turned to them and said, “Forgot to ask something: Have any of you heard of a corporation called Oscorp?”

“I have,” replied Yuuna. “Why?”

“Well, in one of the chapters we skipped, the Stu said that Wayne Enterprises drove it out of business…”

“Wait, what? How the heck do you drive Norman  _freaking_  Osborn out of business!?”

“By being a Gary Stu, of course,” Feratu said with a dry smirk.

“And according to the Stu, his parents threatened to do the same to  _Lexcorp_ ,” said Solvig.

“Our  _heroes,_  everyone!” Yuuna snarked. “Whatever  _they_  did, I will bet it’s more  _illegal_  that whatever shady crap those two companies do!”

Sarah shook her head angrily. “All right, that’s  _it!_ We need to wait for Batgirl to drop in, and  _then_  we get rid of them all at once! Four Flying-types, one Smack Down, as Adam would put it.”

Yuuna sighed and looked at the Words. “Hmm… I think that may take a while. I suggest that we stay here and rest a little, taking the charges from the Words as they co–” Yuuna paused suddenly, and kept staring at the Words with a puzzled expression. “Squall, I have a question for you.”

“Um, yes?”

“Wasn’t Violet able to free herself from Syndrome’s restraints?”

“Um, yes?”

“ _Great!_  They gave the smartest member of the family the Idiot Ball.”

“Ummm… ye – uh, no. Wait,  _what?!_ ”

“What’s going on? Has the family been captured by the Syndrome replacement?” asked Feratu, taking out his slash mark and twirling it idly.

“By the Xerek and Syndrome replacements,” said Yuuna. “The family’s being depowered as we speak.”

Sarah gaped at her. “You have  _got_  to be  _kidding me._ ”

“No, she’s not,” Solvig replied suddenly. “Don’t worry, they’ll get better.”

“ _How?_  For Thor’s sake, they’re  _losing their superpowers!_ And unlike in the comics, I don’t think that’s reversible unless whomever took them  _out_  put them back  _in!_ ”

“Does it matter?” asked the Kryptonian, “There are far worse charges up ahead. Namely: That Syndrome guy implies that he’ll be beating that woman, eh, Helen, senseless when he finishes with the father. ‘Batboy’ claims to have ‘ **ANTI-ENERGY** ’, which sounds like a dumb Silver Age-level stunt just so he can be better than Syndrome. He survives having his cowl ripped away by an underground river…”

Sarah kicked up a cloud of sand angrily. “It doesn’t make sense! None of that makes sense!!”

Unaware of Sarah’s outburst, Solvig continued: “Which leads to the stupidest superhero ‘outing’ of all time. This  _‘Batman’_ is sloppy enough to forget that there was a  _baby_  in the family. The Stu claims that _somehow,_  he and his sister were allowed to travel  _alone_  at the age of  _five_  for their training. Also, he claims that Harvey Dent was a  _junior lawyer_. The Stu and Violet share a kiss before he leaves to rescue the baby. And from there on, the Stu pretty much becomes a standard prepared-for- _everything_  unbeatable  _Bat-God._ Also, that Syndrome guy claims that the  _baby_  has  _every single possible superpower_  in the world.”

“Well, look at that,” said Yuuna. “You actually  _did_  read everything…”

“We have to step in before he reaches the point of no return!” said Sarah. “This means we’ll need to find the point where Batgirl comes in,  _right the hell now._ ”

“Follow me,” said Solvig opening a portal and stepping in, followed by the rest of the Agents. They arrived at the exact same spot some hours later.

“Wait… Why are we in the same place as before?” asked Sarah.

“Check the Words,” replied the redhead.

**Suddenly, a Wall Was Blow Apart...Causing Light To Shine Through.  
Everyone Looked To See a Figure Emerged From The Large Opening...It Was BATWOMAN.**

**"Hey, Guys And Gals...Miss Me?**

**"like a toothache. Said Batman, Jokingly**

**"Well, Sorry I`m Late...I Had To Make a Little DETOUR At a Lazarus Pit.**

**At that Moment, a Man Walked Up next to batman...Bob Stared In Shock At Who It Was.**

**"GAZERBEAM!**

**Gazerbeam Grinned.  
He Was Soon Joined By Other Heroes: Thunderhead, Dynaguy, Stratogale, Downburst Blazestone, Everseer, Gamma Jack, Apogee Hyper Shock, Macroburst, Plasmabolt, Psycwave Phylange, Stormicide, Splashdown, Vectress, Tradewind Meta-Man, Universal Man, Fironic, And Blitzerman...**

**All The NSA Heroes That Were Killed (Mostly By Syndrome) Were SOMEHOW Alive Again...**

**Batman Just Smiled.**

**The Era Of Superheroes...Had FULLY Returned.**

A flock of stray commas flew across the beach toward the agents.

Sarah blinked. “Did she just… Is that  _me_ in that crowd somewhere?”

“No, it’s your canon counterpart,” said Yuuna. “I  _think_.”

“Okay, once we clean up after we off the replacements, this is gonna get  _reeeeal_  awkward.”

“Well, the Chapter ends here,” said Yuuna, “we may have to make a plan right…”

Then the Author’s note blared above them.

**Chapter 13: Final Showdown**

**The Incredibles copyright Disney/Pixar**

**Batman copyright DC Comics/Bob Kane**

**The Incredibles: Dark Knights**

**Chapter 13: Final Showdown**

“...now,” finished Yuuna, covering her ears.

“I need my powers now,” said Solvig, staring at Yuuna.

“Solvig, I don’t think—”

“There’s no other option,” interrupted Solvig.

Yuuna sighed. Apparently, Solvig wasn’t going to change her mind. “Okay, then. Deactivate.”

Solvig groaned in pain like the last time. She fell to her knees, grabbing her ears and shutting her eyes while her senses overloaded.

 “I have to help,” said Sarah. “In fact, if we’re gonna kill this fic now, we’ve gotta give it everything we’ve got!”

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” said Feratu. “Titans, go!”

Sarah looked at him, and he laughed in embarrassment. “Sorry. Your call.”

“I’d have gone with ‘LEEROOOOOY JENKINS!’ myself,” Sarah chuckled, wondering if she should take out her sword. “At any rate, it’s showtime!”

Solvig then stood up as though she hadn’t just almost suffered a sensory overload seizure. “No, wait for the right moment,” she told Sarah.

“But we’re  _so close_  to getting this over with. Why wait?”

“We need a  _plan_ , Squall,” Yuuna said sharply. “While you and Count Chocula here were having your little discussion, I was reading ahead in the Words. I think he and I should ambush Bat-Sue, Mirage, and Not!Syndrome while they’re fighting each other. You and Solvig can handle Bat-Stu and Not!Xerek while we do that.”

“Sounds good to me,” replied Solvig, listening attentively to the far away sounds of the battle.

Sarah and Feratu nodded as well, the former cracking her knuckles in anticipation.

**********

The Agents waited for a while reading the Words, then…

**Xeric Removed His Glove And Clutched The Orb With His Bare Hand.  
The Orb Began To Glow Brightly And Energy Surged Within His Body.**

**Batman Quickly Tossed a Batarang At teh Orb, Shattering It On contact.  
Though The Energy Was Now released And Formed Into Four Streaks That Left The Room...**

“Now!” cried Yuuna.

Solvig disappeared in a cloud of dust before the word fully left Yuuna’s mouth, leaving the other agents coughing and covered in sand.

“That was quick,” said Feratu, having to wipe his glasses with his sleeve (as given the attributes of his disguise, he couldn’t take them off out in the sun). “Can we help her out now, or…”

“We  _all_  have to get in on this,” Sarah growled. “This is my home continuum too, don’t forget that.”

“ _Cough_ … Come now...  _cough_ …  _arrgggh_ …” Yuuna spat the sand out of her mouth and wiped it, then opened a portal. “Robinson! You, with me. Squall, open your own portal and go after Solvig.” Then she entered the portal, Feratu at her heels.

Sarah opened her own portal, and stepped through, hoping she still had her powers with her.

Solvig, meanwhile, ran through the island at a supersonic speed, leaving a path of destruction in her wake. As soon she got near Syndrome’s complex, she slowed down slightly, entered through the hole in the wall made by the Sue, ran on the wall, and at the last stretch she sped off again and punched Not!Xerek in the face with the force of multiple tons of TNT, blasting him through multiple walls and out of the base, as well as causing a shockwave that threw the Stu into a wall. Then, she began to walk towards the hole in the wall that the Replacement made, when a portal opened behind her. She felt a chill breeze and heard a familiar heartbeat, then turned her head to see Sarah.

“Step aside,” Sarah growled, her sword at the ready. “Not!Xerek is  _mine_.”

Solvig shrugged and turned to the Stu, who was still stunned and trying to stand up, her eyes flaring in red.

**********

Meanwhile in another part of the complex, Yuuna and Feratu arrived near the main fight. They went to a conveniently isolated corner, where Yuuna put down her bag and opened it.

“Well now, Robinson,” she said to the vampire before her. “It’s time to make a real plan.” Then she took out Harley’s mallet.

Feratu grinned, taking out his slash mark and a set of Batarangs. “Now can I do the battle cry?”

Yuuna glared at him. “No.”

“Sorry I asked.”

Yuuna took some small restraints made from black leather out of her bag. “I think these might be useful.” She realized that Feratu was giving her a weird look. “What? Agent Luxury gave them to me when I met her in Headquarters… I... really don’t wish to talk about it.”

“Wait, you’re not really gonna –?!”

Yuuna blushed. “No! I would  _never_  do something like the thing you’re thinking with my–” She groaned and facepalmed. “ _Ugh_ … Before you ask,  _yes_ , I  _do_  have a boyfriend back home, and no, I won’t tell you any more.” She stood up, slung her bag over her shoulder, and picked up Harley’s mallet. “We have a duty.” She then stormed off in the direction of the Sue.

“Something tells me that relationship may just be a  _teeny_  bit strained,” Feratu said with a slightly bemused smile, before following her.

**********

In another part of the base, Sarah floated through the hole in the wall of the base, sword raised to block whatever Not!Xerek had in store for her. The dazed replacement got to his feet, shaking a little, and saw what looked like Stratogale in casual gear.

“What Was That For?!” Not!Xerek snarled. “You Think You Have The Guts To Attack Me! I Thout You Were With The Others”

“Perhaps I  _would_  have, if the circumstances had been a bit different. But Stratogale’s still with them, last I checked.”

“Then Who Are You?”

“The question is, who are  _you?_ Xeric? Xer _ek_? Not!Xerek? Any of those sound like you?”

He glared at her. “You Havent Answered My Question!”

“Who am I?” She brandished her sword with a triumphant grin. “I am Stratogale.”

He looked at her, his eyes widening in surprise. Then he roared and charged at her with surprising speed.

Sarah only remembered that he’d absorbed the entire Parr family’s powers half a second after his fist slammed into her gut. Her sword went flying, and embedded itself into the dirt with a clatter; unbeknownst to the two Supers, the ground around it began to freeze over.

And now Sarah had to rely on her flight and super-strength alone.

Elsewhere, Solvig had a glare standoff in silence with the Stu for a some time, then began walking slowly towards him.

“Who Are You?” demanded the Stu, assuming a combat stance.

Solvig didn’t reply, still slowly advancing in silence. The Stu tossed a Flashbang Batarang at her in warning, to no effect. He growled and got another Batarang ready.

“Timothy ‘Tim’ Wayne, a.k.a. ‘Batman’, Bat _boy,_ Bat- _Stu_ , Not!Batman, and Gary Stu,” she finally began. “By the authority of the Protectors of the Plot Conti—” She suddenly stopped, having heard a subtle cracking of glass, and the sounds of someone being flung about like a ragdoll outside…

Sarah continued fending off Not!Xerek, but she knew he had the advantage. Every blow was blocked by a force field, and she herself couldn’t block in time thanks to his super-speed. His hits seemed to come from everywhere.  _Might as well charge now,_  she thought frantically, right before he grabbed and flung her over his shoulder. She left a forty-foot ditch in the dirt, uprooting a few trees along the way.

“Xeric, a.k.a. Not!Xerek,” she declared, standing up shakily, “by order of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you are hereby convicted of—”

She was grabbed and flung into another tree, which shattered beneath her. “Oy—being a Character Replace—”

Then she was pile-driven into the dirt, then pulled out and flung into a random cliff face. “ _Ptooey, eww! Not cool_! Anyway, your charges include—”

The replacement grabbed her and slammed her into the cliff with such force that it sent a huge crack running up the side of the rock face, eventually causing it to collapse. Luckily, her impact-resistant frame gave her enough time to recover and scramble out of the way before the rocks fell on top of her opponent.

“Wow. Um, okay then!” she said after she’d turned around to see the aftermath. “Your charges include replacing the canonical character of Xerek, not understanding either of the continua involved in this badfic…”

The rock pile exploded, and Sarah had to fly upwards to dodge the debris. The replacement lashed out with a stretchy arm and grabbed her before flinging her into the side of the base, which left a car-sized dent. Meanwhile, the ice continued to spread in an ever-widening circle around her sword, and random vegetation was also turning into little sculptures.

“Owwww, gonna feel that in the morning…” she groaned, peeling herself off of the wall. “Anyway, you’re also charged with creating a replacement of Syndrome and stealing the powers of the Parr family. There, I’m done! Happy?!”

“NOOOO, YOU WILL DIE! I WILL RIP YHO APART” the replacement screamed, preparing to attack her again. Sarah was about to stand up and take off once more, then she noticed something else.

The ice had caught up with them. The replacement darted forward with lightning speed, but when he hit the ice, he slipped. Sarah yelped and ducked, causing him to sail over her head, through the jungle, and back through the hole in the base…

…where Solvig intercepted him with another punch, causing him to break  _another_  hole in the wall and carve a ditch through the jungle, leaving him stunned. Then she turned back to the Stu. “Now, where were we?”

**********

Meanwhile, Mirage had knocked down Not!Syndrome and had him in the sights of some Generic Laser Guns, but she hadn’t shot him yet; she was arguing with Sue!Batwoman about whether getting revenge was a good idea. The Sue’s arguments were cut short when Yuuna smashed her right side with Harley’s mallet. The Sue went flying into a wall with several sharp cracking noises; Yuuna guessed she’d broken the Sue’s elbow and cracked some ribs at minimum. Then, she knocked out Mirage using the shaft; she didn’t want to risk a Suefluenced canon interfering.

At the same time, Not!Syndrome looked around frantically, trying to figure out what was going on. Figuring that he might as well make a quick exit while Mirage and Batgirl were incapacitated, he turned to run… and ended up getting a faceful of slash mark for his trouble.

Feratu grinned. “That was surprisingly quick.”

“It seems so,” said Yuuna. “Remove that guy’s gadgets and restrain him while I do the same with ‘Batwoman’. Do  _not_  eat him; you got enough glitter for today.”

“I wasn’t planning to anyway,” he replied with a shrug.

**********

Outside the base, Sarah flew upwards, trying to catch a glimpse of Not!Xerek. She knew she stood no chance against him, but at the same time, she had to return the powers of the Parr family back to them somehow. But… how?

She thought long and hard. Close combat wasn’t going to cut it. She’d tried that with the snake troll on her first mission, and look what had happened to her. With the Parrs’ powers combined, this replacement was essentially that tenfold. There was no way she was going to defeat a Super with that level of power, unless…

“That’s it!” she cried, snapping her fingers. Unfortunately, that very sound alerted the replacement to her presence, and she ended up getting punched in the face this time. Before she could respond, the Stu proceeded to wrap his arms around her like pythons, and began to squeeze…

**********

Back at the main arena, Yuuna slapped both the Sue and the Replacement, who had been tied together, in a bid to wake them up.

“What Hapoened? (Pained Grunt) Why My Arm is Broke? YOU ARE YOU!? And Why I`m Tied with THis PSCYCO!?” demanded the Sue.

Yuuna didn’t feel like answering those questions. She simply took out her notebook and began reading. “Cassandra Wayne, a.k.a. Batwoman, Bat- _Sue_ , and Mary Sue. By the authority vested in me by the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you’re declared guilty of the following charges: Being the teenage sister of Batman; ta… king… Kate... Kane’s...” Yuuna squinted to understand the writing. “Moniker… for... your… self… when you’re... clearly a  _Batgirl_  (seriously, who wrote that charge?); stealing the expression ‘bub’ from Wolverine; causing Alfred Pennyworth to refer to you on a  _first name_  basis; beingable to run after the school bus from Not!Wayne Manor, which was just outside of Metroville, all the way to  _Western View Junior High,_   _somehow_ ; wanting to ride on a ‘motercycle’, whatever  _that_  is; conveniently being in the same class as Violet Parr; aiding and abetting a Gary Stu; smiling with ‘Embarrisment’, whatever the heck that means; being accepted right away by the Parr family thanks to being super speshul; somehow being smart enough to understand a book on  _Quantum Fusion_ ; flying the Batwing into ‘ _The Hanger’_ (how do you manage to do  _that_?); being a boy magnet, yet rejecting everyone’s invitation to dance – seriously girl, follow your  _own_  advice; traveling around the world with your ‘brother’, to train yourselves for crime-fighting, at the age of _five_ ; claiming to have revived  _all_  the dead Supers via Lazarus Pit; and being not only a Mary Sue but a cause of my partner’s mental breakdown. The punishment for these charges is  _death_. Any last words?”

Whatever the Sue tried to say was interrupted by Not!Syndrome, who started laughing maniacally. “WeLl ‘HERO’, Looks LIke is Teh End For YO– OOOOH...” The Replacement’s mocking speech stopped, his eyes open wide in realization; he was tied to the girl behind him, and as such, to her fate too. He gulped and added, “Uh-Oh...”

“And as for you, Not!Syndrome,” said Feratu, “by order of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you are  _also_  hereby convicted of being a character replacement on account of the following charges: Replacing the canonical character of Syndrome; somehow being resurrected from the dead with an uncanonical plot device, and a very poorly handled one at that;  _physically beating_  a powerless Mr. Incredible and implying that you were going to do the same or worse to Elastigirl; and indirectly aiding and abetting multiple Suvian characters. Your punishment is also death, and you get no appeal or last words.”

Once that was finished, Yuuna opened a portal behind the Suvians, and shoved them into it with the vampire’s help. “Have a nice trip,” she said waving at them.

“Would now be a good time to ask where you dropped them off?” Feratu asked her.

Yuuna closed the portal and smirked at him. “Oh, they’re just having a nice trip to Hammer Bay, Genosha,” she replied.

Not!Syndrome and Bat-Sue landed on a roof in a futuristic African/Middle Eastern city. As soon as they could, they started arguing again, but a bright light above the city cut them off. The burst of radioactive energy from an unseen giant robot burned them up too quickly for them to have a chance to scream.

Yuuna and Feratu, having finished their handiwork, turned around… to see the furious visage of Mister Incredible glaring at them, who began advancing towards them, ignoring the fighting around him.

“Well, this is going to get ugly,” Yuuna understated.

**********

Meanwhile, Solvig was having some trouble of her own. “Derp, derp,  _derp_! I cannot remember where I left off!” she grumbled. She turned to face the Stu. “Guess I should start the list over. Timothy ‘Tim’—”

Then she heard the cracking of bones and whirring of rubber outside. “Dear Rao! Sarah!” She quickly grabbed a piece of furniture and pinned the Stu to the wall with it. “Stay put!” Then she raced outside… making another hole in the wall.

“S-Sol-vig…” the Super’s voice choked out. “Help… me…” Her eyes rolled back into her head before she could continue.

Solvig’s fist then collided with Not!Xerek’s face at supersonic speeds; the resulting shockwave sent him and Sarah into a nearby boulder, which quickly became so much gravel. He released his grip on Sarah, who promptly scrambled away from him.

“You. Will. Not. Hurt. My. Friend!” cried Solvig, her eyes blazing red with fury.

“She Is A Super!” he growled. “AND WHEN I AM DONE WITH YOU, i WILL KILL ALL THE SUPERS”

“You’re technically a Super, too, y’know,” Sarah hissed, drawing the RA with a shaky hand. “And I know just how to handle you.”

Before the replacement could react, a portal opened beneath him, and he fell through, landing in the middle of a dark, locked room. Scattered around him were a number of colored metallic balls of some sort.

Sarah peeked through the portal, looking down at the confused replacement, while Solvig sped off back to her own business, as though she had heard something suspicious. He looked up at the Super and asked, “Where Am I?”

“The Mini Adoption Agency,” Sarah said with a smirk. “I know a couple of friends who are just  _dying_  to meet you. Have fun!”

The portal closed. A moment later, the little balls around Not!Xerek began rising up on clawed legs, one after another. Twenty-four small red visors flicked on. He realized that they were small Omnidroids, and they were all staring directly at him.

“Oh Shi—”

The scream of agony temporarily distracted the mini-Bat-Mites in the next room over from their poker tournament.

“What was that?” asked Alfread.

“Just keep playing,” bane`s advised. “Also, I fold.”

**********

Back in the badfic, Solvig arrived just in time to intercept the Stu, who was making a run for it. “Going somewhere?”

Batboy set off another smoke bomb, then tried to escape in another direction, towards the first hole in the wall.

Solvig started casually walking towards him. “Timothy ‘Tim’ Wayne, a.k.a. ‘Batman’, Bat _boy,_ Bat- _Stu_ , Not!Batman, and Gary Stu. By the authority of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you have been charged with the following: For making Metroville look like Gotham, when it’s more like Metropolis; being a fifteen-year-old Batman; trying to ‘accidentally’  _murder_  someone with an Explosive Batarang; having a twin sister; bringing the rock band The Police, Man-Bat, and the superheroes The Flash and Agent Venom into the fic via  _really_  bad capitalization errors; making Alfred refer to you by your first name; being an insufferable jerk, yet still somehow expecting everyone to root for you; making Violet Parr fall in lov—”

 _BOOM!_ An Explosive Batarang hit Solvig’s face. She snorted angrily, but didn’t slow down.

“WHAT ARE YOU!” said the Stu upon realizing that the redhead hadn’t been fazed. He then started looking for something in his belt that could use to stop her. Sarah flew overhead, sword placed safely in her bag for now.

“Like I was saying...” Solvig continued, ignoring the Stu’s question. “Making Violet Parr fall in love with you; claiming to be her fated soulmate; becoming literally frozen in place when you looked at her; creating a generic bit teacher just to show off your Speshulness; being a shameless self insert; insulting Bob Parr and getting away with it; being accepted right away, without question, by the Parr family thanks to you being a Speshul snowflake; creating a copy of Wayne Manor in Metroville—”

The Stu then threw a Sonic Grenade, that caused Solvig to stop momentarily and drop her bag. Then furious, she sped off, grabbed and crushed the device, then said, “That does it!”

She dashed towards the Stu, and threw a punch that she stopped an inch from the Stu’s chest. The air shockwave alone of that, struck him with enough force to shatter his right ribs, clavicle and arm, collapsing his right lung and throwing him outside into a tree. He then tried to stand back up, but fell to his knees and started coughing glittery blood.

Solvig caught up to him quickly. “To finish up: using a song from 1995 in a fic that happens in 1974 at tops; claiming that you traveled around the world with your sister at  _age five_  for training, yeah as if Alfred would have  _ever_  let that happen; claiming that Harvey Dent was a junior lawyer; claiming to have faced a lot from Batman’s Rogues Gallery over your laughably short ‘career’, including derping  _Bane_   _(_ When you got started? When you were  _ten_? _)_ ; not knowing how a Lazarus Pit works; creating a horde of minis and generally having horrendous grammar; having a  _Batcave_  in  _Nomanisan Island_ ; being an honest-to-Rao,  _derping_  Bat- _God_  Gary Stu; and  _royally pissing me off!”_ Solvig’s eyes started shining even brighter. “Let me tell you something, guano-brain, having Batman prepared with plans to defeat superhumans  _doesn’t_  make him invincible. One of his plans specifically concerns himself! Let me quote it for you:

“ _‘Agamemno Contingency. File Codename: Detective. While Batman is a master strategist and combatant, he is only human. The best way to disable his strategic abilities, would be to distract him. His parents are an excellent blind spot, as is his endless crusade to protect the innocent. Taking hostages is a good distraction, particularly if they are friends or family. Think carefully before you do this.’_

“I’m not surprised you don’t recognize it. Very few people know that Ra’s al Ghul used this information to defeat Batman and the entire Justice League in the  _Tower of Babel_  arc. More importantly, you’re not Batman. You can never  _be_  Batman, only a jerk teenage boy in a Batman costume. And you. Are.  _No. GOD!”_ On the last word, Solvig accidentally released her heat vision... at full power. The Stu and most of Solvig’s clothes were incinerated instantly, and the beam carved a path of fiery destruction across the island, causing everything around it to catch fire.

Then the superheated air made a sonic boom happen. Sarah, still airborne, lost control and went spinning through the air, ultimately crashing to the ground once again. She let out a sharp cry of pain as the burning welts on her arms from the superheated air made contact with the Generic Dirt.

Solvig’s heat vision ended around the same time as the cold backdraft from said sonic boom hit. She gasped, and looked at her newly blackened and desolate surroundings in increasing horror. “What—what have I done?” She dropped to her knees and curled up in a little ball. “What have I  _done_? I...I’m a  _monster_ …! A  _monster!_ ” Bitter tears began running down her cheeks.

Sarah sat up, her breathing ragged. She could feel that two of her ribs had been broken when Xeric had tried to crush her to death. But as soon as she saw what Solvig had done, and how she was feeling, she knew she had to do something.

The Super stood up, wobbling unsteadily, and took careful steps towards her partner. Once she was close enough, she sank to her knees behind her, and hugged her.

“I’m… I’m so sorry,” she said. “I know it’s hard the first time around, but this is what we do at the PPC. Mary Sues and Gary Stus aren’t human… They’re the monsters here, and not you. Trust me… I would know.”

Solvig continued to cry. “I–it’s n–not just th–th–that I-I killed so–so–someone…” she sniffled. “Look around at the destruction I caused. I could have killed  _everyone_  on the island… I… I… wish I could go home…”

Sarah said nothing, but continued hugging her.

**********

In the main arena, the fighting suddenly stopped when the building started shaking, prompting everyone to look up. After it passed, they turned back to continue where they left, but then...

Mr. Incredible blinked and rubbed his temple. “What...where am I? Is that Mirage?” He ran towards her and gently helped her up.

The other Supers were in the same boat, looking around and talking to each other in low, confused voices.

“Well, looks like they made it,” said Yuuna. “The others have ta—”

The structure began collapsing in on itself with several almighty creaks. Meta-Man quickly used his powers to hold it together.

“Looks like the continuum is snapping back into place,” Feratu commented. “And this base is not canonical…”

“Which means that it’ll be destroyed with us inside,” completed Yuuna.

The agents looked at each other briefly. “Oh,  _crapbaskets_!” she said.

“Or, as Starfire would put it, ‘Oh,  _grebnacks_ ’,” said Feratu.

“Come on!” cried Meta-Man. “I can’t hold this thing forever!  _Move! Move!_   _Move!_ ”

Everyone sprang into action. The super-fast and flying Supers evacuated almost immediately. (Dash made sure to both grab Jack-Jack and let his mom know the baby was OK on his way out.) Mr. Incredible grabbed Mirage, Yuuna, and Feratu, then ran outside with them. Violet put a force field around the Underminer and rolled him outside like a hamster ball. As soon as the last of them left, Meta-Man released the structure from his grip, and sped outside, but then his cape snagged on part of a metal rod protruding from the hole. The rod snapped like a twig at the Super’s pulling.

Once the dust had settled and the remains were engulfed by the jungle, Mr. Incredible turned to Meta-Man. “I think you might want to reconsider that cape, buddy.”

The two winded Supers looked at each other, then shared a loud laugh.

“We have to do something about all of the supposedly resurrected Supers,” said Feratu. “Yuuna, it’s your call. Just… be careful. Okay?”

“We must first deal with those who we  _know_  are canon. Robinson, please get the mini-Bat-Mites out of here like I asked you earlier,” said Yuuna. She turned to the crowd of Supers. “Parr family, may I have your attention for a minute? Everyone else, please follow my partner over here for now.”

The canons who weren’t called by Yuuna then followed Feratu to the far side of the area, where he opened a portal to send the minis to the Mini Adoption Center.

Yuuna turned to the Parrs, but before she could neuralyze them, Dash ran towards her holding a bag. “Miss, I found this in the far part of the complex; it looks like yours, so I thought you might know something about it. I tried to go further, but the place was on fire.”

“Thank you,” she said, accepting the bag. “Can you stand with your family, please?”

_FLASH!_

“Robert ‘Bob’ Parr, Helen Parr, Violet ‘Vi’ Parr, Dashiell ‘Dash’ Parr, and Jack-Jack Parr. You have never met anyone with the surname Wayne, or been to a place called Wayne Manor. Neither Syndrome nor any of the dead Supers have been revived, and you don’t know anyone called Xeric, either. And Violet Parr, your actual current boyfriend is… uh, Tony Rydinger? Or Xander? Whatever. This portal leads back to your home; when you step through it, you’ll also forget about me or any of the other agents you may have met.”

Yuuna then neuralyzed Mirage and The Underminer and sent them to the appropriate places. She took out her C-CAD to see if the first of the revived Supers was truly who he claimed.

[Simon J. Palladino, a.k.a. Gazerbeam. Male Super.  _The Incredibles_ canonbit character. OOC 172%. OH MY GOD! IT’S A REPLACEMENT! HIDE YO—]

Yuuna stopped the C-CAD before it went any further, then looked at the visibly shocked man.

“Wait, what?” Not!Gazerbeam and Feratu asked.

“Look, uh, Mister... uhm, Palladino. I don’t have enough charges against you. I’ll give you the same options I once got; come with us, or go the same way the real Gazerbeam went.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You mean I can’t stay?”

“I’m sorry, but it’s the way that it must be done to protect the universe itself,” replied Yuuna. “I wiped the Parrs’, Mirage’s, and the Underminer’s memories for the same reason.”

A portal opened nearby at that moment. Solvig came out of it, sobbing and hiccuping uncontrollably, while Sarah hugged her with one arm.

“How’d it go?” asked Feratu.

“We had a bit of trouble, but we managed. I may have to head off to Medical, though. Xeric got me pretty busted up.” She gasped a moment later and then slumped to the ground. “Owwww, I’m really gonna feel that in the morning…”

Feratu sat down next to her, resting a hand on her shoulder, but he couldn’t say anything. He had no idea what to do.

“Sorry to hear that, Stratogale,” said Not!Gazerbeam. “I wish I could _—_ Wait. Stratogale is over there… and over here…?”

“Did someone say my name?” asked the canon Super, flying towards them. She looked down at Sarah, her eyes narrowing. “Hang on… Am I seeing double?”

“Oh,  _grebnacks_ ,” said Feratu. “Step aside, all of you!”

He stood up, aiming his neuralyzer at the revived Supers.

“Cover your eyes,” Yuuna advised the Gazerbeam replacement.

  _FLASH!_

“None of you have ever met anyone named Batwoman or Cassandra, you don’t have memories of your deaths, and you don’t have any reason to be here,” he said. And just like that, in a puff of logic, all of them returned to their own time.

Except for one. “So, what now?” Not!Gazerbeam asked the agents.

“Well, Mister,” said Yuuna, “protocol calls for you to change your names, then go through Agent training. I _think_ …”

“I’ll decide when I see where we’re going,” he replied with a shrug. “For now, though, shouldn’t you four be heading back to wherever you live? Nomanisan isn’t exactly safe…”

“Well, without Syndrome here, and after two years of neglect, it might be quite safe,” replied the violet-haired Agent.

Unable to say anything to Yuuna, Sarah moaned in pain, lying listlessly upon the ground.

Solvig walked to her, covered in a blanket she had taken out from her bag. She sat besides her and said, “Hey Sarah, is it true that you have a boyfriend and a family waiting for you? I… on the other hand… I have a pet Charmander… I have no family, home or... world to go… back… I… I...” Then she started crying again.

When she heard the crying, Yuuna turned to her partner and said, “Hey, what’s happening to you?”

“I… don’t  _–hic–_  to talk... about it  _–sniff–_ ” Solvig replied, then turned to Sarah puzzled about her lack of response, and took a look at her with X-Ray Vision. “Uh…  _–sniff–_  Yuuna… looks like... she has two…  _–sniff–_ broken ribs…”

“Oh, I see,” Yuuna replied, then opened a portal for the Replacement. “Please, step into it. This will take you to the office of the Marquis de Sod, to initiate your recruitment process.”

Once he was gone, Yuuna turned to Feratu and told him, “Come, help me with this.”

When Yuuna tried to reach for Solvig, the latter recoiled in fear and cried, “ _Aaaaah!_  Don’t touch me!” Her attempt to back down caused her to bring her hand to the ground with such force that it made a miniature hand-shaped crater and a small dust cloud.

“So, that’s why…” she muttered, covering her eyes from the dust. Then said, “Activate.” Afterwards, she slowly approached Solvig, gesturing the redhead to take her hand. Solvig hesitated at first, but then took the offered hand, and Yuuna helped her back on her feet. Feratu, meanwhile, had done the same with Sarah.

Yuuna covered her still sniffing partner with her arm, opened a portal, then turned to Feratu. “Well, Robinson, take your partner to Medical, while I take mine to FicPsych. I hope the next time we meet it would be.... in… uh, better circumstances. Farewell!” She then entered with her partner into the portal, which closed behind her.

Feratu and Sarah stared after them for a few moments. Then he turned to her. “You okay?”

She shook her head. “Let’s just get back to HQ already. And, uh… Thanks, Vamp. For everything.”

He flashed a fanged smile at her as he opened a portal to Medical. And for the first time in a while, she smiled back.

**********

  _Some hours later, at the door of RC #2814…_

“So, Solvig, are you sure you’re feeling better?” asked Yuuna to her partner, who was hugging her blanket and sucking her left thumb.

“Yah, my hand still hurts a little, but I’m fine,” replied the redhead, taking her thumb out briefly. “Also, I don’t think we should deactivate my Output Limiter on missions anymore.” She then continued sucking her thumb.

“But why? It  _– Hey!_  Stop that! Didn’t your parents teach you anything?”

“My ‘parents’ were  _Sues_. They let me do whatever I pleased.” The redhead shrugged. “‘Sides, it makes me feel safe.”

Yuuna sighed and stared at her partner with concern, then turned to press the button to open the door.

The door slid open to let Yuuna receive a faceful of thick smoke. Both Agents reeled back, coughing.

 “What’s goin’ on?” Asked Solvig.

Yuuna did not reply. She crouched beneath the smoke to see what was happening inside. There, she saw a panicked Charmander running around in circles, and the trashcan with flames coming out of it. She sighed, then entered the RC’s bathroom as fast as she could, took out a bucket full of water and doused the fire in the trashcan. She grabbed the Charmander and hurried outside, at which point the smoke triggered both the fire alarm and the sprinklers.

The now very wet Yuuna glared at her partner, who replied with a confused, “What?”

Yuuna just sighed and handed Solvig her pet.

After the place was cleaned and the smoke cleared by the janitorial staff, the Agents were finally able to enter their RC.

Solvig laid her pet on the floor, and said, “Well Yuuna, I think I’m goin’ to take a shower…”

“Again?” replied the Asian.

“Yes, I _–_ Wait… Was that a  _joke_?”

“Does it matter?”

“Uh, I… guess not. Anyway, I need to take a  _warm_  shower, so I can relax a little.”

With that, she went into the bathroom, unaware that her partner, who was drying herself with a towel and looking to the opposite direction, had a small smile on her face.

But no sooner had the falling water been heard, when the console went…

**[** **BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!]**

Yuuna hurried to it and pressed the button to stop the alarm and see the summary. When she read it, her eyes opened wide, and she said, “What?  _Fr–_ Oh, no… no… they  _didn’t_!” She groaned, and slumped into a nearby chair, then smashed her forehead on the console in anger.

After a few seconds, she turned her eyes back to the display, propped her head on her hand, and sighed in resignation. “Well,  _shit._ ”

_THE END_

**********

_Notes for the Department of Redundancy Department:_

  * The Gangs Armed Themselves With Guns.
  * "Hey, They`re They Are! Said Cassandra
  * Tim Moved Turned The Dials Of The Lock.
  * "YOU ARE YOU!
  * "Some Things Are WORTH Taking Risks For... Said Batman, Who Eyed Batman
  * First he Saved My daughter...Now, He Saved ME When He Could Of Captured That Madmad!



_Minis and other adoptables:_

  * Mini-Bat-Mites ( _Batman,_ 22 total):


  * bane`s* (adopted by SkarmorySilver)
  * BATWAVE
  * batwave
  * Joker`s*
  * Alfread
  * Batwave
  * BAT-WING
  * Batmab
  * Bat-Wing
  * Wayne Entertprises
  * Leslie Thomkins
  * Batman`s*
  * TEH WAYNE`S
  * Batmobile`s*
  * Jim grdon
  * Gordon`s*
  * Jim`s*
  * TEMPLOR
  * Alfred`s*
  * Ra`s Al Ghul
  * CARMAN FALCONE
  * TWOFACE


  * Mini-Omnidroids ( _The Incredibles,_ 33 total):


  * Municiburg (adopted by SkarmorySilver)
  * Tony`s*
  * Violet`s *
  * Kari`s*
  * Vi`s*
  * The Parr`s*
  * Bomb Voyage`s*
  * Bob`s*
  * ..violet
  * XERIC
  * Xeric
  * Xeric`s*
  * Viloet
  * Underminder
  * Jack-Jack`s*
  * Ton
  * Kar
  * Helen`s*
  * Syndrome`s Zero Point Energy Guantlets
  * Elastigirl`s*
  * Rick Dicker`s*
  * Underminer`s*
  * SYNDROME`S GUANTLETS
  * Omnidoid
  * Incredible`s*
  * Syndrome`s Guantlets
  * Syndrom's
  * Xerix (adopted by Voyd)
  * Syndrome`s*
  * b-buddy
  * Syndrom`s*
  * Univeral Man
  * Mirage`s*


  * Mini-Jeeves ( _Jeeves and Wooster,_ 1 total):


  * Gieves (adopted by Pippa’s Ghost)


  * Other:


  * The Maw Of Criminals (A hellhound, that only exists to persecute or help criminals, depending on its mood. It’s haunting the foolish girl that created it, by speaking at a bad time… So, yeah, in other words, was adopted by Edhelistar.)


  * NPC:


  * Not!Gazerbeam (adopted by Edhelistar)



_(Note: The ‘grave accent instead of apostrophe’ minis, marked with an asterisk [*], will no longer be used in future missions.)_

_(Edhelistar’s notes: So this fic, what to say… I have a feeling that this might be a trollfic, but then again, the passionate defense that the author gave in the last two chapters seems too real to be coming from a troll._

_So yeah, if you’re a troll; then yes, I took the bait anyway, now BITE me!_

_If you’re serious about this fic, well then, welcome to Edhelistar’s Notes and Concrit! This is divided into The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. The first two correspond to the main premise and general ideas presented in the fic and how they were handled and what worked and what not, respectively. The Ugly focuses on the grammar, presentation, and formatting of the fic. So, without further preamble, let us begin!_

_The Good_ _: Saying that making a crossover between_ The Incredibles _and_ Batman _is a bad idea would be a lie. It is a good idea. In fact, I applaud your sheer_ balls  _in changing Batman’s secret identity; that’s not a normal plot element, and could make a good story if handled well. Also, I like the idea of giving Batman a sibling or other family; lots of opportunity for drama and character development there._

_You also kept Alfred, The Joker, Harley Quinn, Dash, Mr. Incredible, and most of the revived Supers mostly in character, so kudos for that._

_You get_ further _kudos for actually remembering and using elements from_ The Batman _animated series. By the same token, I’m happy that you did research and used characters and narrative elements from an early draft of_ The Incredibles. _So few writers do research that seeing evidence of it makes my day brighter._

_Also, I gotta say, most of your Super battles are well written… in a narrative sense._

_The Bad_ _: Where to start... An AU doesn’t mean that you can do anything you want with the characters. It means that you change some things in the universe you’re writing and see what happens, as long as it makes sense within that universe. A teenage Batman definitely doesn’t make sense. A younger Batman might, but he’d have to be in his late twenties to early thirties [like in the New 52 or_ The Batman _] for the timing to match up; a teenager simply wouldn’t have had enough time to become Batman. Not to mention that the very_ idea _of him traveling alone at the age of five is absolutely ridiculous._

 _The romantic subplot feels forced and unrealistic, with all of that stuff about ‘fated soul mates’, ‘love at first sight’, et cetera. Violet has more chemistry with_ Cassandra _than with Tim. Make of that what you will._

_You also don’t seem to really understand the DC Universe; more specifically, how the Lazarus Pits work, the capabilities and reach of Ra’s al Ghul, and Bane’s intelligence. Batman isn’t invincible, either; that’s a common misconception. Yes, he does have plans to defeat each member of the Justice League, including himself, but he has never put them into use. Ra’s al Ghul, who has far more resources than Batman, has used said plans._

_You also ignore things from_ The Incredibles _movie when they don’t suit your plot, and have too many flashbacks to events your reader would know about already. Canon is not optional in fanfic; you have to know the rules in order to break them properly. [No, that’s not a malapropism, it’s common advice given in arts classes.]_

_The references to Lexcorp and Oscorp aren’t needed; they just make your characters look bad by implying their parents used underhanded tactics to scare the first one and bring down the second one. Not that Luthor and/or Osborn would have let that happen anyway._

_The Chickification process Violet Parr went through is also problematic; she seems to become less and less effective as the fic goes on. I counted at least three times that Violet was somehow in danger, including one time when she could have freed herself as she did in the movie. Think of it as an inverted version of Susan Storm’s character growth; instead of getting awesomer as the story progresses, she got stupider. [See the part about ignoring details from the movie for why this is a Bad Thing.]_

_ The Ugly _ _: Honestly, this is the weakest link in the fic. The typical confusion between ‘your/you’re’, ‘their/they’re’, et al. There are a LOT of misspellings, you almost always used a grave accent [`] instead of an apostrophe [‘], and in some times with those, you used the possessive instead of the plural too. Most of the capital letters used in the fic are misplaced, you use paragraph changes at the wrong times, you rarely close your dialogue quote marks… Basically, it looks like you either have a very limited grasp of English, DON’T CARE, or BOTH._

_So how could your fic be fixed? First of all, work on improving your English grammar; if it’s not your first language and you struggle with it, feel free to write in your native language. Definitely get an actual beta, one who gives you real feedback; comments from the fickle denizens of the Internet don’t count as constructive criticism._

_Either remove the romance subplot entirely, age up Violet, or make Robin the love interest; Batman’s usually too distant and overprotective to be a good love interest. Robin’s fallen in love with someone more times than you think._

_Do not revive Syndrome; Prototype!Xerek is a good enough villain and a credible threat by himself, he doesn’t need lackeys like Syndrome or the Underminer. And_ please _don’t use Ra’s al Ghul unless you actually plan to give him a considerable role; he’s a bigger threat than all the other featured and mentioned villains put together. [Yes, even the Joker and Bane.]_

_Be consistent in how you name things; whether Batman’s plane is called the “Bat-wing” or the “Batwing,” for example._

_Make sure your ‘heroes’ are actually likeable; seriously, I lost count of the times that I wanted to punch Tim in the face for being a jerk. Alternatively, if you want to write them as jerks, **make sure they face the consequences of their actions.**  _

_Do not dumb down other smart characters to make your OCs look good; Violet knows how rockets work and freed herself from Syndrome’s electric restraints._

_And please, make your OCs their own people with actual personalities instead of either the voice of your beliefs or ultra-perfect snowflakes everyone loves._

_For those of you wondering “How did Solvig beat the Stu that easily? Batman’s prepared for  everything and even has beaten Superman many times before”: First of all, Batman has never defeated Superman in canon. He has defeated him_ once _, in an Elseworld, with help from The Atom, The Flash, and Green Arrow, twenty years of preparation, and Superman’s refusal to fight back [and a crapton of Plot Induced Stupidity]. Second of all, Batman is prepared for_ a lot _of situations, but not_ all _situations; he never considered that someone would hack the Batcomputer, steal his contingency plans, and use them against the Justice League, for example._

_In response to the actual question, Solvig beat Bat-Stu as easily as she did for these reasons:_

  1. _She overpowers him by many magnitudes (duh!)._
  2. _This Batman had no plans for defeating a Kryptonian because they did not exist in his universe. The author specifically stated that this was “an Incredibles story with Batman in it”. Therefore, Krypton, Kryptonians, and Kryptonite DO NOT exist in this universe. He had no idea what he was dealing with._
  3. _Even if he’d had Kryptonite, it’s an AU. As shown in_ Infinite Crisis #3 _, Kryptonite from a given universe doesn’t work on Kryptonians from another universe._



_And with all that, I finish my grandiose discourse and concrit, and let my feathered friend say his words. [*grabs a piece of the scenery and starts chewing it*]_

_– Edhelistar)_

_(SkarmorySilver’s notes: Well! This mission was a challenge to write, and on top of that it ended up being a bit longer than we’d originally planned… Okay, a_ lot _longer. I mean, it’s over 50 pages long now, and we only covered the most significant chapters after the halfway point! I’m happy to see it finished, though, and I had a lot of fun writing alongside Edhelistar’s agents, notwithstanding the fact that I had to squeeze my time for writing into my already tight Real Life schedule. From my agents to his, good luck with your future endeavors, and we hope to meet you again soon!_

 _Now, then, onto the concrit. Edhelistar and our agents covered most of what we found wrong with the fic already, in particular the Batman-canon-related charges. While the characterization was the most important fault, however, another thing that stood out to me personally was the fact that, despite the potential of such a crossover in theory, there was something very, very wrong about the sum of its parts. Now, I understand that the author explicitly said this is an AU with equivalents of the Batman canons and such (like the Metroville Wayne Manor and_ possibly _the Nomanisan Batcave) in the Incredibles ‘verse. All the same, this is_ The Incredibles _and not_ Batman _, which means these two continua work differently despite their similarities. I speak from experience when I say that having the crossover elements exist without adjustment to the world they’re being housed in is a recipe for disaster, and the horribly,_ horribly  _done characterization of Stu!Batman did_ not _help. At all. [And they wore capes! CAPES!]_

 _The other problem that stood out for me was that more than a few of the characters involved were just_ there _. They didn’t really have much of a role aside from antagonizing the Suvians, making them look good, or getting a one- or two-line cameo before being summarily ignored. Edhelistar already mentioned Syndrome, of course, but for me, the worst case of this by far would have to be the Supers that Sue!Batwoman resurrected with that unspeakable joke of a Lazarus Pit [which Solvig handily shot down in the mission itself]. With a few exceptions, they didn’t get any speaking lines at all, and if Stu!Batman could theoretically save the day by himself like the Jerk Stu he was, why did Sue!Batwoman go as far as she did to revive the dead Supers? There has to be a very good reason for such an event, and if there was any, I’d probably have to buy new glasses because_ I just couldn’t see it _. For bleep’s sake, as much of a ‘gorn and tickling show’ as Sarah’s homefic was, even the minor characters in that fic had more significant roles than almost every non-major character in_ this  _one put together, which was… basically anybody who wasn’t Stu!Batman, Sue!Batwoman, and the Parr family. Long story short, not only did the handling of the minor roles make the Suvian characters sound even more Suvian than they already were, but it also turned the ending into a total ass-pull, and nobody likes that._

 _All in all, I am like, 200%_ done _with this fic. I appreciate that Edhelistar had good things to say about it, and I can understand them, but I had to struggle to find anything I liked, and in vain to boot, which is not something I normally say and not something I_ want _to say with regards to anything at all. This may be a tad subjective, seeing as I’m not a Batman canon expert, but there was more than enough damage to the_ Incredibles _canon as well — a lot more than Sarah’s homefic ever caused. Seriously, if a 35-chapter mega-crossover in which the continuum it was_ supposed  _to feature barely gets any prominence aside from the characters does a better job of representing them than your fic does, well, I have bad news for you._

_From the elven comic geek and the armor bird, we hope you’ve enjoyed reading this mission! And one last time, Edhelistar, best of luck with where the four winds take you and your agents next!_

_– SkarmorySilver)_

**********

Sarah opened the door to RC #333, her chest still aching a little beneath her bandages and her new mini-Omnidroid, Municiburg, toddling along behind her. For a moment, she wondered if she should wake up her angel partner, who was no doubt passed out on the sofa, and probably clean up all the empty Bleeport bottles he’d scattered about while she was at it. But then she blinked, and realized that he wasn’t there.

In fact, with the exception of the minis, the room was completely empty.

Had Lapis dragged Cupid off somewhere else? Apparently. Taken him on a mission without her? More than likely. Her brother, after all, had done the same thing with his and Rosie’s most recent partner…

But if the same thing had happened with Sarah’s current partners, there was no doubt that the poor blue-haired girl was in for a  _much_  harder time. Especially if alcohol (or any substitutes thereof) was involved.

In any case, this could mean only one thing.

“Looks like it’s just me and you guys, eh, Paluntena?” Sarah said, patting the mini-Monoeye. “And about time, too. I’m  _so_ tired…”

And so, pausing only to shut the door to the RC, she went over to the sofa, flopped onto it face-down, and closed her eyes.

 **[** **BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!]**

_THE END (For real, this time!)_

 


End file.
